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.Link to Italian text: #entry601896700
Chapter 11: Bitter truths
She stopped the car in front of Kudo’s house, a few meters before the gate and pulled out the cell phone from the pocket of her jeans. Quickly she wrote the words "I arrived" and sent that e mail to Shiho. She checked one last time to be neat and then took a deep breath, looking for in herself all the calm as possible to deal with that situation. She couldn’t deny being terribly nervous, and this was at the expense of her intention to appear as normal as possible. Fear is never a good counselor and often leads to mistakes.
She got out of the car at the precise moment when the gate of the house of the Doctor opened, letting out the figure of Shiho. They greeted each other with a silent nod, despite the few meters that separated them and that became less and less as Shiho neared. They addressed only when they faced each other, so close that they can read the tension on each other face. Even her young friend shared her fears, despite her position was less at risk.
- Ready?- she simply said.
- And you?- answered the girl.
They both nodded, decided to carry out the plan they had worked out a few hours earlier. She rang the bell, waiting with her friend at her side.
- Who is it?- they heard Shinichi’s voice, which seemed metallic because of the intercom.
- It’s Jodie!- she said with her usual enthusiasm.
They heard the gate click and open, allowing them to enter and walk directly to the front door, from which emerged out of the young landlord. They expected that he was surprised to see them together, instead he received them very naturally, as if for years they went to visit him together. Probably Shuichi had warned him that they both would have come.
- Come, we've been waiting for you- he motioned them to enter.
- Hi Cool Guy!- she threw her arms around him in a burst that left stunned both he and Shiho.
She wasn’t pretending, she was really glad to see that boy that, kid or not, had won the title of her favorite detective. Even ten years older it was always amazing all what he had done in the fight against the Organization, as well as was surprising his intuition. Before knowing him she had always thought that Shuichi was some kind of genius, but now she had to admit that this guy had nothing to envy him.
She hugged him like you do with a plush, oblivious to the fact that the young detective was red-faced and quite embarrassed to find himself with his body attached to her. He was still a teenager, feeling the soft curves of a woman caused him understandable reactions.
- But you see, the investigative agency’s Miss would be very jealous if she knew that you make yourself pampered by mature women!- intervened Shiho, who until then had been watching the scene amused with a sly air.
- What are you talking about, I'm too old for him!- she finally distanced him from her.
- What does this have to do with? You're a beautiful woman with experience, the dream of every teenager-
- Will you just stop?!- he complained, more and more embarrassed.
They continued that interlude among digs and laughter, until they were interrupted by Shuichi, attracted by those noises. The tension that seemed to have dissolved due to that special boy reappeared, stronger than before.
- Akai-san, our guests are here- Shinichi broke the silence, smiling at his friend.
- I see- he simply replied, trying to smile back with poor results.
While Shinichi’s smile appeared natural and spontaneous, Shuichi’s one seemed almost a grimace, as if behind it there was always a certain malice, something hidden that will not bode well. She loved the man, but she had to admit that in some ways it was disturbing to the times.
- Welcome- he greeted them, trying to do the honors, although that was not his home - Your friend isn’t there?- he asked immediately, addressed Shiho.
She glanced quickly to her friend, who reciprocated: they both knew that their plan had started at that precise moment.
They couldn’t afford to make mistakes, no matter how much Shuichi could put them in awe.
- Well... to be honest she is the friend I was talking about- she replied, not with little trouble or hesitation.
- What?!- exclaimed surprised Shinichi, opening his eyes widely - And since when are you two friends?-
- Well... not too much longer!- she snapped, trying as much as possible to avoid details.
- Now I understand why you said I knew her too- he addressed Shiho.
- Eh right!- she said, forcing herself to smile.
It was a dialogue anything but spontaneous and natural, certainly they hadn’t started with the right foot. The only thing they had got to know was that Shinichi didn’t suspect anything, at least him. On the contrary, Shuichi remained impassive as ever, with that smirk on his lips. He didn’t seem barely surprised by the news, it was as if they had told him that they had seen a nice pair of shoes with heels in a store window and this, certainly, wasn’t a good sign. Usually you remain impassive in the face of something you already know. Or maybe he doesn’t care about the fact that they were friends or not? The more they tried to resolve the doubts and the more other doubts were added to those already present.
- If I had known it was Jodie I wouldn’t have even said to invite her, since I had already done it- he finally said - But now I'm very curious to know how you became friends-
She felt the blood run cold in the veins at that question, the only one for which she and her friend hadn’t planned a response. Why didn’t they think of that?! It was obvious that if they presented themselves as friends someone would have asked them under what circumstances they had become, but at the phone they had both been too busy to focus on what not to say rather than what to say. She glanced furtively at Shiho, hoping she had a ready answer: actually she found her with her own expression on her face. She refused to believe that their plan had gone up in smoke even before starting, so she did what she knew best to do in difficult situations: improvise. If she had managed to convince inspector Megure that Camel was her boyfriend she could even invent a meeting.
- Well… we met by chance! I was walking and I saw her sitting on a bench, so we started chatting about this and that and we found ourselves very well!- she smiled forcibly, hoping to have recovered that moment of initial confusion.
She prayed that Shuichi had bought it, she wasn’t sure how her lies were effective on someone like him, used to feel the rotten smell from a mile away.
- Who would have thought, I just didn’t think you'd get along so well, you're completely different temperamentally speaking!- Shinichi stepped in, more and more surprised by the news.
- What do you mean by that?- Shiho narrowed her gaze, taking the words of his friend as a warning to her character not so much jovial and expansive.
- Nothing, except that I am very surprised!- he justified himself.
She expected an answer from him who had asked the question, but it didn’t arrive. Shuichi seemed satisfied with that explanation, so it seemed to say the expression on his face. However she shouldn’t lower her guard: he was good at pretending, much more than her. He had faked his death, high-level stuff compared to a colleague-boyfriend.
- Well, then I think we can get comfortable in the lounge and eat our cake, what do you think?- he proposed, staring firstly her and then Shiho.
- Ok!- she winked happily.
As they walked down the hall, she let Shinichi and Shuichi escorting them, with a gap of just over one meter. She needed a quick consultation with her friend, to know what she thought of the behavior of her colleague.
- Do you think he believed what I told him?- she whispered.
- I don’t know, he has a strange face that doesn’t convince me at all. Better not lower our guard and keep us ready for any kind of question- advised her the auburn hair girl.
She didn’t have time to respond, because her attention was caught by the wonderful cake that was displayed on the table in the center of the room. It was really fantastic, she wondered how Shuichi could have find a cake like that in such a short time, only to live up to that little acting. If on one side that was mouth-watering, on the other it was one more reason to fear "the adversary." Even in small things he could find a convincing solution, in contrast to her who struggled to stay afloat in the innocent lie that she had created.
- Wow, that’s wonderful- she let that exclamation slip in her mother tongue, sitting down on the couch followed by Shiho - It's a shame to cut it-
- But if you don’t cut it you can’t eat it- said the girl, which however was busier at keeping an eye on Shuichi than at watching the cake.
- I'm also curious to taste it- confessed Shinichi while distributing the saucers for all.
Her gaze passed from the cake to his companion, who had started to it into slices of the same size and to put each of these in one of the saucers. It seemed quiet, maybe too much.
When all of them were seated and had had their slice they began to enjoy that masterpiece.
- It’s really delicious!- exclaimed the young detective, then turning a smile to his friend sitting next to him on the opposite side to their - Excellent choice Akai-san!-
- Thank you, I'm glad you like it- reciprocated his friend - And what do you think?- he addressed them.
- I agree with Cool Guy, it’s fantastic!- she nodded.
- I'm gaining weight just looking at it- it was the cold and listless comment of Shiho, who however continued to put in her mouth a forkful after the other, arousing the laughter of all.
- Why, do you have weight problems?- she looked at her doubtfully, but at the same time letting her know that she was joking.
- No, because usually I don’t eat cakes-
- Instead you should, at your age you work off faster-
They would continue with that comic theater if the looks of the two men on the other side of the table focused on them hadn’t put them in awe. They had let themselves go too much, they were not used to see them conversing as if they were friends for a lifetime. The difference in their looks, though, was substantial: while Shinichi’s one showed a sincere amazement, Shuichi’s one was more inquiring, veiled by a note of malice. She had the feeling that soon would have come another question: the problem was that she didn’t know which, and this didn’t allow her to prepare in advance an answer.
- Since you become so friend, I assume that you have already gone out together. Is it not so?-
Here it is, the fateful question, perhaps even worse than the previous. Why asking such a thing? It wasn’t difficult to guess, there was only one reason why Shuichi could do it: their date last night. The doubt he could know was turning more and more into a certainty. Now she was the one to have a question: how the hell did he find out in less than twenty-four hours? She turned to look Shiho, which had stiffened and was looking at her in return. Even she didn’t know what to say. There was only one option: telling the truth.
- Actually we saw each other only once- she admitted, hoping it was the best move.
- By any chance it was last night?-
She opened her eyes widely, wincing slightly followed by his friend. There could be no doubt now, it was clear that he knew. Those questions were too specific to be made at random, out of sheer curiosity. They couldn’t run away, they had fallen into his trap. Suddenly that sweet cake had become a bitter pill to swallow, as if it contained poison.
- Ho-how do you know it…?- she asked, swallowing hard.
- When I went to Doctor Agasa’s house to invite Shiho, he has bequest out a small detail, namely that our young lady had gone out last night. Therefore, by connecting the two, I deduced that she was out with you- he explained naturally and with a pinch of satisfaction.
They could argue, Shiho could say that was not assumed she was gone out exactly with Jodie; however they didn’t manage to say anything, they remained silent staring at the cake that remained in their saucers. Anything they could have said or did at that moment would have seemed just a pathetic excuse to hide the reality of the facts. Among the players seated at that table Shuichi was undoubtedly the best and, as such, took advantage of their silence to make his next move, now certain that the victory would be won.
- So, what have you been doing? You will certainly not go for a drink, since the Princess here isn’t old enough for doing so. Moreover, just like the young detective said, you don’t have many passions in common-
- What do you know about that?!- blurted out suddenly Shiho, who until then had left it was just her to talk.
She must have felt under pressure too, forced to keep the secret of which only she was the real culprit. She felt sorry to have put her in that situation, she didn’t want it to end like this.
- Maybe I'm wrong?- asked calmly Shuichi, staring straight at her, perhaps in an attempt to instill her fear.
- It’s none of your business what I do when I see Jodie, you should stop always pry into my affairs!- she continued with that harsh tone.
- Come on, calm down- intervened, placing his hand on her shoulder - Shu was just curious to know, he didn’t want to bother anyone. We went to eat at a very nice revolving sushi restaurant which she advised me, then I dragged her to the arcade with the promise that next time we would have gone out we would have done something she liked instead- she finally explained turned to him.
- So you dragged her into your world of laser guns and joysticks?- he joked, aware of her passion for video games.
- Oh yeah!- she smiled, although she wasn’t serene.
She removed her hand from her friend's shoulder when she felt that her tense muscles were loose again, although not completely. The latter thanked her with a slight nod. If anything she could say to have done one right thing that night.
- But if you have always complained when children asked you to play with them at the video games designed by the Doctor!- intervened Shinichi, who in that story was the only one, paradoxically, to not understand anything.
- Yes, but the ones I've played with Jodie does not have anything to do with those of the Doctor, they’re much more exciting!- she replied with a posh air, resuming to eat the cake.
The shocked face of the young detective was so funny that she smiled attracting everyone's attention. It was comical to see the detective of detectives before the only case he couldn’t solve.
- What you did in the arcade?- resumed Shuichi with his questions.
- Oh, very exciting things! We made a rally race and then we shot the space aliens!- she nodded convinced, feeling more at ease with those questions less focused than the previous.
- And so you can drive, Princess?- he addressed Shiho.
- If I could would it be a problem?- she said coldly, although the tone was not lit like before.
- Of course not. And tell me, did you manage to beat Jodie? It should be easy, since she isn’t really an ace at the wheel-
- That’s not true!- she grumbled, pouting and making everyone smile.
- Instead Jodie is very good, I didn’t manage to beat her- she confessed, smiling at her.
Between a chat and the other they all had now finished their piece of cake. Good, no doubt about it, even if not precisely tasted in the best way. That dialogue started badly, however, it seemed to have turned into a pleasant conversation. Perhaps the worst was over, maybe Shuichi just wanted a confirmation that they went out together and nothing more. On the other hand, he couldn’t really suspect what they were told. Telling the truth up to that point hadn’t been such a bad idea, at least now they had all removed a pebble in their shoe.
- Somebody wants another slice of cake?- asked Shinichi.
- I confess that the temptation is so great but I can’t afford to put on weight with the work I do- she confessed reluctantly.
- I pass, I already feel like Genta and the Doctor- stressed in a not so nice but ironic way Shiho.
- Well, since our guests are so careful about the figure, it’s better if I carry the rest of the cake in the refrigerator before it goes bad. If you wish another slice you can come back tomorrow, always if our landlord agrees- he looked at Shinichi.
- Of course, there’s no problem!- he confirmed.
When she saw Shuichi getting up and closing the cake box, she got up and began to collect the plates and cutlery.
- I’ll help you carry things in the kitchen- she justified.
Not that she cared to do well as a guest, she simply wanted to spend some time alone with him. She didn’t expect the conversation of the century but wanted to know better what he thought of the whole thing. The truth was that she was afraid that the friend had it in for her, for some reason. She had managed to establish with Shiho that relationship that he couldn’t, perhaps this hurt him even if he didn’t want to show it.
When they reached the kitchen she put the dishes in the sink and filled it with water and detergent, while Shuichi put the cake in the refrigerator. He hadn’t said a word, so if she wanted to have a conversation with him she had to be the one to initiate it.
- I hope you didn’t mind if Shiho had replied you in a rude way, she’s a bit impulsive and doesn’t like when you breathe down her neck, but she doesn’t hate you, otherwise she wouldn’t have accepted your invitation- she tried to reassure him, thinking he was a bit down because of her friend's reaction.
- You seem to know her well although you go out together only recently- he replied, remaining with his back turned.
- We become attached immediately even if it seems unbelievable- she smiled - And although you wouldn’t think in some ways we are alike-
- It’s weird, because from what I understood she doesn’t like people who meddle in the affairs of others, especially in her own-
Like the skilled sniper who he was, he took aim and shot straight to her heart, piercing it with a single, lethal bullet. She stood still as a statue, staring at him with wide eyes and the blood flowing profusely inside her from that wound just inflicted. She couldn’t understand why he was saying those things. Or rather, she knew, but didn’t want to admit it to herself, because doing so meant losing the game on all fronts.
He finally turned to her, staring at her with a serious look. There was no sign of anger in his eyes, only that twinkle he had every time that something was wrong. He kept everything bottled up, what came out were only drops of an unseen storm.
- The evening of the clarification Shiho told me she had promised a "good person" who she would have listened to me.
I gave it for granted that this person was Doctor Agasa, since she had no adult friends except from Shinichi, with whom she had quarreled. But now there is no longer any doubt that it’s you the person she was talking about. And if you convinced her to come back that means you have told her what I wanted to tell her before I did it by myself. It was the only way to convince her. This means that you meddled in affairs that don’t concern you- he ended.
He didn’t take his eyes of her, he seemed to want to ensure that the shot that had launched had been successful. He was waiting to see her collapsing. She bit her lip, seized with a feeling of awe mixed with pain. She was aware from the beginning that she had meddled in a matter that didn’t concern her in any way, she also knew that there would have been consequences if it had come to know. She imagined that Shuichi wouldn’t take it well, but she never imagined to be treated so coldly. On the other hand if Shiho was there it was thanks to her, so he could show a minimum of gratitude after all. Over the years she realized that that man knew how to be loved and at the same time also to be hated with equal ease.
- I…just wanted…- she mumbled with a hanging head, unable to say anything.
- To get her back?- he completed the sentence in her place - Why were you so interested that she clarified with me? You are a stranger in this whole thing, what would you have made?-
In an instant the pain turned to anger. So in his personal perspective a person was bound to do something just to have a self-interest? Of course, as he had done with her, leaving her behind because his relationship with her had threatened the one with Akemi, thereby preventing him from reaching his goal. In Shuichi Akai’s vocabulary didn’t exist the word "altruism”.
- I have to do something just to have a self-interest? Cannot I just want to help someone I care?- she glared at him, more and more hurt by his words.
- You didn’t even know her until two days ago, so why you cared so much to help her?-
- I wasn’t talking about her, in fact!- she hold back her tears, although her eyes were now lucid.
There was a moment of silence, in which neither of them looked at each other in the face. They were both metabolizing in their own way what they couldn’t get over.
- You know I do not like that other nose in my business- he pointed out.
- Too bad you always do it with others!- she let out, clenching her fists to contain the anger that was growing inside her, without even looking at him.
- When did I would have done your own business?-
A part of her, the one that had silenced to convince herself that it was fine to have been dumped for a good cause, would have wanted to answer with a resounding "never", making him feel guilty for never having asked her how she was after their breakup. Not a phone call, not a message. She had told him that it was fine, but it was clear that it wasn’t so, and she had hoped until the end that he’d notice. Instead he, cold as always, had ignored everything. It was enough only a single, simple word to make him feel like he had made her feel. A word that she couldn’t say, as she had failed to tell him so many things.
- I'm sorry if I got your own business, it won’t happen again- she apologized, more to end the conversation became too heavy than to bear for sincere repentance.
- Can I know what you say to convince her?- he asked, in a tone less accusatory than before.
- Simply the truth, which actually you really cared for Akemi and you've done everything to avenge her. I couldn’t say more, since I don’t know anything more than that. I just wanted to let her know that you were not a heartless murderess as she thought, that's all-
There was again a moment of silence, in which the only noise that can be heard was that of Shuichi’s steps, who had started to head back towards the hall, a sign that for him the matter ended there. On the contrary, she remained motionless with her head down, paralyzed from the anger and the pain that were destroying her slowly.
- Thank you-
The sound of that word so kind came to her ears like a loud noise. The anger that clouded her mind prevented her from grasping the sincerity that was behind: at the time she also saw only what he wanted to see. It seemed that thanksgiving was just another way to make fun of her, to humiliate her. Firstly he attacked her and then thanked her ?!
If he wanted to inflict the coup de grace, congratulations: he had certainly succeeded.
- Don’t mention it- she replied contemptuously, with maybe more coolly than he had used with her, if possible.
Walking fast she passed him without even looking at him, coming out of the kitchen directed to the hall. She couldn’t stay a single moment longer in that place with him, not after the way he had treated her.
She found Shinichi and Shiho who were chatting unaware of all; they turned to look at her as soon as they saw her enter with the fury of a summer typhoon.
- Thanks for the hospitality, it has made me very happy to see you again Cool Guy- she greeted him hurriedly, but being careful not to sound rude, since it wasn’t his fault.
- But how, you leave already Jodie-sensei?-
- Yes, unfortunately I have work to do for tomorrow, and I just can stay here no longer, it’s already getting late!- she lied, smiling forcibly.
She wasn’t a good liar, not in situations like that one where her emotions shone from every part of her body. Surely to a smart guy like Shinichi that particular wouldn’t have escaped, but in her heart she hoped that he didn’t make questions.
She didn’t want to justify, especially not in front of Shiho, who continued to look at her bewildered and suspicious.
- Okay... I walk you to the door, then- he offered.
- Oh, you don’t need, you have to stay with your other guest!- she again tried to smile and look like the usual Jodie.
- I’ll walk you- said Shiho, standing up and reaching her out.
It was clear that she had realized that something was wrong and this wasn’t good. How could she tell her that Shuichi had treated her badly knowing that she still didn’t sympathize too much for him? She would have risked to the reconciliation that had cost her so much, perhaps too much. She could do it, she could get her away from Shuichi just for the sake of seeing him suffering like she was suffering, but she wasn’t that kind of person, being it would make her hating herself. But Shiho wasn’t stupid, certainly she had already guessed why her mood had changed. It was the same fear they had shared from the moment they had set foot in that house.
She accepted her friend's offer, greeting again Shinichi with a hand gesture. She doesn’t even try to see if Shuichi had returned, at that time she didn’t want to see his face.
They walked up to the front door and only when they were proven to be truly alone, Shiho made her the fateful question.
- Has something happened?-
- Don’t worry, it’s all ok- she continued to lie, thinking it was the right thing to do - Now come back from them, surely tonight's invitation was more addressed to you than me, so don’t make them wait-
- It’s clear that something is wrong, in these days I learned to understand your looks- she stared at her seriously.
- It's nothing, dont worry-
She wished a friend to let off steam at the time, but that friend couldn’t be her. She preferred to destroy herself rather than move her away again from Shuichi. Not for him, who didn’t deserve anything, but for her, who needed another person (in addition to the Doctor and Shinichi) to believe in and to protect her. For this reason she had to continue to lie and go away before the watery eyes would betray her.
She opened the door and went out, but Shiho followed her and closed the door so as their voices cannot be heard inside the house. It was clear that she wasn’t satisfied with that explanation, when she dug her heels in something it was impossible to make her change idea.
- Has something happened with Akai-san, by chance?- she asked, going straight to the point.
She didn’t answer to the question, she restricted herself to look down: a sufficient gesture to confirm that she had hit the mark. She had betrayed herself, as she had done before with Shuichi. She was just a stupid.
- What has he done to you?- she insisted, warming tones.
- He understood that the person who convinced you to come back to him is me- she confessed, no more escape routes - So in the end I couldn’t hide from the fact I told you the truth before him, minding in business that doesn’t concern me-
- If you hadn’t done it at this time I wouldn’t certainly come here to eat a slice of cake in his company!- she said firmly.
- I know- she nodded - But I also knew that if he had found out he would have reacted in this way, because even if for a good cause, he doesn’t like the others to meddle in his personal matters-
- Really?- she raised an eyebrow, exacerbating the tones - Strange, as he instead loves minding in other people’s business, since he has peeked at me for months! So it’s not fair that now he treats you so bad just because you wanted to help! Now let's go back inside and I’ll give him a piece of my mind!- she grabbed her by the sleeve, dragging her towards the door.
- No, please!- she pleaded, resisting - I don’t want your relationship with him spoil again because of me. And then ... I don’t want to see him now- she admitted.
The tight around her arm loosened, leaving her free. She heard her friend sighing, not convinced. She respected her decision not to face him, but it was clear that she wouldn’t mind nothing to spoil anything to defend her.
Paradoxically she became more attached to her than to the man who had protected her for months.
- Don’t worry, tomorrow I will already be over it- she tried to reassure her - But now you have to go in and spend a nice evening with Shu and with our extraordinary young detective, okay?-
- It will be hard to do so, if I think of the way he treated you- she grimaced.
- Try to make an effort, do it for me- she half smiled.
- Alright then- she sighed.
- Thanks, honey. Talk to you soon- she greeted her gently, moving toward the gate and past it, then got into the car.
She noticed looking out of the window that Shiho hadn’t yet returned home; on the contrary she had remained stood still watching at her, probably a bit worried about her. She felt reassured to know that she had found someone who cared so much for her, in her life she hadn’t had the good fortune to meet many people like that. She was the one who had to grow up quickly to take care of herself.
Fastened her belt, she started the engine and drove off, hoping that her friend came back in and didn’t think instead of going home without saying a word, ditching the two men in the house.
When she was far enough away from the mansion to be certain that no one could see her, she turned onto a side street and pulled over, stopping the car. She couldn’t drive in those conditions, with trembling hands and the view that became more and more clouded, blurred by the tears she had repressed for too long. She let herself go to a cry that shook her body for a long time, old and new tears mixed together streaking her face. We came into this world crying, naked and alone and that's how she felt at that moment: stripped from those masks she had wanted to wear to protect herself, without a shoulder to cry on. She, who for years had been living against her will in disguise, when she had finally obtained permission to recover her identity she had realized that she couldn’t use it, forced by the work she did and the life to always pretend to be someone who she wasn’t. An American English teacher on vacation in Japan, an FBI agent on vacation in Japan, a blonde bimbo, a simple colleague very caring, a friend who was happy to be just that, a former girlfriend which was fine being dumped bluntly on a speeding car. Jodie Starling wasn’t any of that. It hurt her to be treated like that, it hurt when every time she tried to help him, he never missed an opportunity to point out that she had done something wrong. Yes, because in Shuichi Akai’s eyes, Jodie always did something wrong. An incompetent, a poor incapable. She might be at the end of the games, but she certainly wasn’t a meddler or the kind of person who did something just to get something in return. What hurt even more, though, was the real reason why he had reacted that way. She knew that if Shuichi got upset so much wasn’t because she had minded his own business, but because he didn’t want anyone else to bring up the topic Akemi. That was his argument, his memory still vivid, no one could have a say about what she had meant and meant for him. Unlike her, which was probably never meant nothing and that was canceled with the same speed with which you clear an unsuccessful drawing on a white sheet. That evening she had had the confirmation that there was no hope for her, it would have been only a futile effort to confess what she felt as Shiho had recommended her. She would have always been only the colleague that never do what’s right.
She stood there crying in that dark street, lit only by a lamppost quite far from her car, until she no longer had tears to shed nor the strength to find more. Exhausted, she erased the last traces left on her face and put the car in motion, headed for her apartment.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
I finally finished this endless chapter you’ve all been waiting for! I hope it didn’t disappoint you, many of you had already guessed what it would have happened, what would have been Shuichi’s reaction and everything else, but I’m very predictable when I write because I’ a small-time writer! XD What do you think it will happen now? As always, I'm curious to know your ideas!
I wish you a belate Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year since I don’t think I will post another chapter before 2017! XD Thanks for being with me and my fanfiction in this 2016, you’ve made me proud to write about this couple forgotten by God and even from Gosho! You’re an amazing fandom! ♥
Kisses
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Link to Italian original text: #entry603432992
Chapter 12: Friendships that come, friendships that go
She stared at her friend's car until it disappeared completely from her sight. It bothered her that she had got away like that, with a bitter taste in the mouth, when that was supposed to be a pleasant evening with friends. She was worried and angry at the same time, she also wanted to go home without even warning, but she had promised to Jodie that she would return in order not to ruin what she had obtained at the cost of a big sacrifice. She took a deep breath, ordering her legs to move toward the door and went back into the hall, where Shinichi was waiting for her still sitting on the couch. At his side, as if nothing had happened, the man who was the cause of his anger and the Jodie’s pain was smoking a cigarette, without showing the slightest sign of repentance. This increased even more her anger, pushing her to assume that frown expression she did whenever she was nervous about something. A gesture that didn’t escape to her detective friend.
- Is something wrong? Don’t tell me that you have argued with Jodie…- he asked.
- You shouldn’t do this question to me!- she answered bluntly, sitting down with little grace on the couch and staring menacingly at Akai.
The FBI agent caught the cutting remark, but instead of responding limited himself as usual to one of those mischievous and ironic smiles, which had something arrogant in themselves.
They continued to stare at each other that way, with Shinichi who shifted his gaze from one to the other in search of an explanation, as long as the sniper finally spoke.
- It seems our Princess is angry with me again. I can’t do anything right- he puts out his cigarette butt in the ashtray.
She clenched her fists, twitching her nerves: he had the courage to be sarcastic after the way he had behaved?! She wondered for the umpteenth time what her sister and Jodie had found in him, she would have avoided like death a guy like that.
- After all in this story I'm the bad guy, while she is the "good person"- he emphasized those last words, the same ones she had used to define Jodie when she talked about the person who convinced her to return to him.
She had promised to Jodie she wouldn’t have argued with him again, breaking that relationship that was still under construction, but at that time she couldn’t not defend her, not after her sacrifice.
- Yes, it is! As much as you want to make her look like a telltale, Jodie is a good person and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her, keep that in mind! And then look who’s talking, you tell other people to meddle in their affairs?! You, who for months have controlled every single move I did?! At least Jodie has been honest when no one wanted to be, so there is nothing you should reproach to her! You should kiss where she walks for the mere fact that I'm talking to you! Think about it before treating her again like that and have respect for her feelings!-
She stopped when she realized that she had crossed the line. Not with the words used, not with the tones, but with the content. It would have sufficed to add a little more and she would have confessed what Jodie felt for him in her place. She couldn’t do that, although on several occasions she encouraged her friend to express what she felt. It was something that only Jodie could do, when and how she would have considered it appropriate. She hoped that Akai hadn’t grasped the true meaning of those words, amid all the talk, but considering that in one day he had unmasked them there was no surprise if he would understood that too.
For a moment she noticed that on the face of the young agent had appeared an expression of astonishment, a sign that her words had hit him. As with any other emotion, however, he tried to delete it as soon as possible, returning to his usual impassivity as ever.
- I see, it will mean that I will apologize to her tomorrow at work- he simply said, closing his eyes.
Now she was her to be amazed at the ease with which she had managed to convince him to retrace his steps and admit his mistakes. He was a tough cookie, one who probably always thought to be better than the others, the fact that the words of a eighteen-year-old young girl spoken in a moment of anger had even convinced him to apologize, it was a rare event. He had really changed his mind, or he was doing it just to do her a favor and avoid spoiling their relations already not too flourishing? She couldn’t know it, but in any case she was happy if she had done something good to help Jodie, it was her way to reciprocate her.
- Now it's better if I go home- she stood up, aware that she couldn’t stay there anymore because of the climate that had been created, she would have ended up spitting venom at every word uttered by Akai until the anger wouldn’t subsided altogether.
- But it’s still early, why don’t you stay a little while?- intervened Shinichi, who until then had done nothing but listening to the conversation trying to figure it out.
She knew that the request was a favor he was trying to make to his friend, but she really didn’t want to stay. Even Shuichi must have understood it, because he didn’t try in any way to stop her.
- It’s better if I come when there will be less tension, really-
Understood that it was better not to insist, the young detective just sighed, standing up to accompany her to the door. Certainly he wanted an explanation, so she had to be ready to the avalanche of questions that would come.
As expected, as soon as they were alone at the door of the house, away from the room where they had left Shuichi alone, Shinichi began with the questioning.
- Do you want to explain me what the hell happened?- he spreads his arms.
- Your friend has treated badly Jodie just because she told me personal things about him just to get me back here to clarify the matter with him!- she explained - She didn’t deserve it! It’s only thanks to her if I’m here!-
- I see, but this is a matter between them and you shouldn’t take it out so much. They are two adults, they can resolve it themselves- he declared.
- Instead they are also my business because Jodie has taken the blame for telling a truth that concerned me!- she replied.
- You're really friends, huh? Who would have thought!- he smiled.
- I really like to stay with her, she's always so cheerful and playful. She uplifts my spirit, somehow- she admitted - And also it’s my only friend since I came back to being an adult, if you exclude Ayumi but it's a child-
- So why don’t you go out with Ran, Sonoko and Masumi sometimes? So you might get new friends of your age. Ultimately, it’s as if you already knew them, you just have to make sure that they know Shiho instead of Ai- he suggested.
- You know very well that Sonoko isn’t fond of me because she thinks that there's something between us, I won’t feed the rumors and create trouble between you and Ran- she explained.
- You do not have to worry about what Sonoko says, it’s all nonsense and Ran knows it. Why don’t you come with us to the cinema tomorrow? It would be a good opportunity to make friends!-
- I’ll let you know- she acted like a snob - Now I have to go-
- Look, I’m counting on it, grumpy!- he greeted her jokingly.
- Sorry, what have you said Sherlock Holmes of the poor?- she returned with her acid way to make.
- Hey, that's a low blow!- he complained, making her laugh.
Perhaps his proposal wasn’t that bad, after all Jodie wouldn’t remain in Japan forever and when she would return to the United States she would find herself alone again. The truth was that he didn’t know where to begin to make friends, and that scared her. She always had the fear that people will misjudge her, that she didn’t deserve the friendship of anyone. Maybe it was time to overcome that fear, that too was part of her new life.
…………………….
- Are you sure it won’t happen a scandal?- she asked again, unconvinced.
- But what kind of scandal are you talking about ?! Now you exaggerate!- he reprimanded her - I’ve already told you that I warned Ran of your presence and she seemed happy, so there are no problems-
Finally she has decided and had accepted the invitation, in part driven by the Doctor who had encouraged her to enter that already formed group of friends. Shinichi had been happy and this cheered her up: it was nice to know that even though he had regained his body and his old life he hadn’t forgotten her. But the fear of facing Ran and Sonoko remained. She was the reason why Shinichi had become Conan, an outcast who had created a drug that can kill or, at best, to reverse the age of people. Who would want to be friend with a criminal who worked for a criminal Organization? She wondered what she would tell them to introduce herself. As she asked herself questions after questions, they arrived under the Mouri Agency windows, where Ran was waiting for them along with Sonoko and Masumi. She opened her eyes wide at the sight of her, so physically similar to her brother.
- You did not tell me that there was even her!- she whispered almost annoyed to her friend.
- Why, is it a problem? You know her too, right?-
- She’s Akai-san sister!-
- So? Don’t tell me you have something against the whole family now!-
It was useless to talk to him, he couldn’t understand certain things. They were feelings that only her could feel and that she couldn’t explain.
- Here it is our perennial latecomer!- it was the unfriendly greeting of the heiress Suzuki.
- I'm not late!- answered back the friend.
She thought that the quarrel would still continue for a while, instead everyone turned to look at her as if an evanescent entity of undefined nature had appeared. Certainly they were studying her, she also did it when she met someone for the first time. Also she should take into consideration the fact that only Ran had been warned of her presence by Shinichi, and the other two had every reason to be surprised. But certainly those eyes focused on her didn’t help her to loosen up.
- Hello Shiho, I'm very glad you decided to join us!- Ran greeted her warmly, giving her one of those angelic smile that reminded her of her deceased sister.
Well, at least she had the confirmation that she didn’t hate her and that what Shinichi had told her weren’t just nonsense to convince her. One out of three was on her side.
- Thank you- returned with a shy smile.
She could have tried harder, but that was already a milestone for her. Unfortunately, someone didn’t appreciate her efforts, perhaps not understanding them. Who was? Nothing less than the person from whom she expected to be judged more than any other in that group: Sonoko. The latter limited herself to make a grimace of disapproval, letting her know that unlike Ran she wasn’t happy to have her with them.
- Hello, do you remember me?- Masumi intervened, coming up to her and pointing at herself.
How could she not remember? Those eyes were the same that the previous night had made her so angry. She didn’t want to judge her by the appearance, but she really was too much similar to her eldest brother to not associate her to him immediately. This perhaps was even worse than the Sonoko’s coldness.
She studied her with a quick glance, noticing that as always she wasn’t dressed like a woman. It didn’t make things easier to see that as well as having the same face she also dressed like him. They already knew each other before the final battle against the Organization, but it wasn’t a real conversation that could establish a relationship of friendship. Later they haven’t had the chance to talk again. Masumi had shown immediately a certain interest in her and this reminded her, in a negative way, of her brother. Unlike the latter, however, she was much more exuberant, she didn’t hide in the dark to peek at her but tried the direct approach.
- You’re Akai-san sister, right?- she finally answered.
- You know my eldest brother, right?- she asked smiling.
What could she say? "Yes, your brother is the former boyfriend of my defunct elder sister who used her to infiltrate a criminal Organization of which I was a member. Ah yes, I forgot: he pretended for months to be another person and liked to peek at me”. No, definitely she couldn’t come up with such explanation; so she did what she had done for most of the time since she had arrived: she remained silent.
- Look at Miss “I Snub You All”, she thinks she’s the only one to be beautiful?- she whispered in the ear of Ran, not even too slow to not be heard.
This time she couldn’t restrain herself and returned the jibe with a glacial glare, who cringed even Shinichi. Maybe she wasn’t the life of the party or the number one in the world to relate to others, but she wouldn’t allow anyone to criticize her and give her nicknames like that, especially from a spoiled little girl who had everything in life. She was beginning to think that accepting that invitation had been a colossal mistake.
- I think she's just a little bit timid, so let’s try to put her at ease!- Masumi intervened in her defense, leaving everyone surprised, herself included.
She stared at her with wide eyes, wondering why she had done it. They had spoken once, maybe two, so why defend her rather than support her longtime friends? At that moment she seemed very different from her brother, although come to think of it he had defended her his own way.
- Please, forgive her, no one wants to be rude here- apologized sincerely Ran.
- Don’t worry, it’s even my fault, I hadn’t introduced myself with proper manners- she accepted the apology, promising to be less strict.
- So what do we do?- asked Masumi, that in terms of hyperactivity was unbeatable.
- Why don’t we let Shiho choose? So we help to put her at ease- proposed Ran.
- Everything is fine with me, as long as they do not have to do with murders and cases to solve- she squinted at Shinichi, who replied wrinkling his nose.
- Why? Don’t you like to solve mysteries?- asked Masumi almost shocked, as if for her everyone should be keen on corpses and killers.
- I've had enough and I would like to have a break- she simply said, without alluding too much to her old life.
- What do you like to do?- asked Ran.
- Let's see... I like animals, science, fashion and ride the bike- she responded exactly as she had done with Jodie.
- I have a bike!- brightened up Masumi, as if they had said her that she had won the lottery.
- R-really?- she pretended not to know it, not knowing how to approach.
- And so you like fashion...- intervened Sonoko, who until then had remained silent after the gaffe she had done a little earlier.
- Is it a problem?- she asked, with a not too friendly tone after the treatment received.
- Not at all, in fact, we have something in common it seems!- said the heiress shaking hands and smiling.
- Why don’t we do some shopping then?- purposed Ran - Or just go around the shops to see what's new-
- Please no…- complained Shinichi, the only man in the group.
- We can look in the men's department!- Masumi tried to encourage him, as if it were normal.
- What do you think of the cinema instead?- she intervened, remembering how Jodie had seemed excited when she told her of her evenings dedicated to movies - Maybe we find a movie that satisfies everyone-
- That sounds great!- accepted at a good pace Ran.
- Yes, it's fine for me- Sonoko followed her.
- I’m in!- nodded Masumi - And you?- she asked to Shinichi.
- Okay, if you do not get any better- he replied listlessly.
- So let’s go- she invited them to follow her.
As they walked directly to the cinema, she thought that the meeting with those people who she already knew but who didn’t know her wasn’t started in the best way, but in the end she had even managed to brought them together on what to do. She even had something in common with Sonoko, who seemed the one who detested her the most. If she had behaved with them as she behaved with Jodie, in a natural way and pulling out the best part of herself, she didn’t have to fear a negative judgment. She could make friends too, if only she wanted.
Arrived at the nearest multi-screen cinema, they came to the exhibited posters to consult the various movies planned. There was an embarrassment of riches,from the romantic film to the horror one through the dramatic, the comedy and the crime drama. Unfortunately, along with the variety of genres there was also their variety of personal tastes and that was how they started the debate on what to watch.
- Let’s see this beautiful love movie, it's so romantic!- Sonoko got excited.
- It seems a very sweet story- Ran supported her, then looking at Shinichi and blushing, probably imagining himself to shake his hand during the whole movie.
- I would prefer to see this- Masumi pointed to the poster with the crime drama.
- It doesn’t seem a story of the most exciting but actually seems to be the best choice among all- said Shinichi, supporting his detective friend.
- Don’t you have other things on your mind?- she reprimanded them, exasperated by the continuous research to immerse themselves in the world of investigations.
- She’s right!- Ran and Sonoko supported her in chorus.
- Don’t tell me you want to see that tiresome movie too!- his friend folded his arms across his chest.
- No, actually I was thinking of something funny, maybe a comedy- she contradicted him, relishing in doing so.
- Of course, because you're Miss Fun!- he teased her, alluding to her sombre character.
Unexpectedly, Masumi interrupted their theater putting an arm around her neck in a friendly sign, then getting her face close to hers and winking at her.
- You could take the break from mysteries another day, I'm sure that you would rather see the crime drama!-
She wished to react and refuse, but all she could do was swallow loudly and staring transfixed. It was stronger than her: every time she looked at her, her face was replaced with Akai’s one. A rather disturbing image that put her in awe.
- Hey, don’t try to bribe her- Sonoko admonished her, pointing the finger at the detective, but getting in exchange only an innocent smile.
- Since the romantic movie will remain in projection for the whole week, we can come to see it another day, so we keep everybody happy- she suggested, trying to recover from the paralysis.
- I think it’s a good solution!- supported her Masumi, who seemed to not want to remove the arm from her neck.
Again, with no small surprise, she succeeded in brought all them together. So they went to the ticket office to pick up the ticket with the number of their seats, finding a bit of queue. Taking advantage of a moment of distraction of the other three girls, Shinichi approached her with inquisitive eye.
- Tell me , why did you give up so quickly to Sera-chan’s request?- he whispered to not be heard.
- But did you see her? She’s identical to Akai-san! I can’t have a normal conversation with her!- she admitted.
- Are you still mad at him to the point of been angry even with his sister just because they resemble?- he smiled.
- Yes until he apologizes to Jodie!-
She expected an answer to her stubbornness, but something more important captured the attention of her friend: his girlfriend who was about to pay the ticket. He didn’t want to watch romantic movies, however he had no problems to do some gallant gesture; so he stopped her in time and offered to pay in her place, making her blush.
- What a touching scene, all that’s missing are the cherry petals flying graceful in the air!- said Sonoko, as if she were starring in a play - It won’t be that behind all this gallantry hides an ulterior motive? Tell the truth, you can’t wait to get into the darkened room to make out with her!- she scowled at him.
- But what are you saying, stop immediately Sonoko!- Ran scolded her redder and redder in the face.
- Don’t you ever get tired of saying stupid things?!- he supported her, perhaps even redder than her.
She couldn’t suppress a chuckle, followed closely by Masumi. She turned to look at her astonished, as if until that moment she had considered her incapable of laughing just because her brother never laughed. When she realized she had her eyes set on her, the girl smiled and winked at her again, forcing her to swallow loudly a second time. She had to stop associating her with her brother, otherwise she would never be able to be friend with her. After all she and Akemi were profoundly different too, blood ties wouldn’t necessarily lead to an equality of character. So she forced herself to smile back.
When everyone had had their ticket, they got ready to take place in the movie theatre. As she sat between Shinichi and Masumi, she thought that after all that weird company wasn’t bad, she could even get used to hang out with them.
………………………….
For the umpteenth time she took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, unable to continue reading. Having spent the night almost sleepless certainly didn’t help to give the best of herself, despite being aware that the work he was doing was vital for her future. She had spent a lifetime waiting for the moment when she would avenge her father and slammed Vermouth in prison, but if she had presented at the trial what she had done that day, for sure she would have been the one to go to jail. She felt heavy eyelids and puffy eyes, not to mention the drowsiness: she must have looked terrible. Even James had noticed it, inviting her to lunch to pursue the matter. He asked her if she felt good not mince words and she had responded that she had woken up with a strong headache. She knew that her boss wouldn’t buy that and in fact she immediately noticed his expression not convinced; however he hadn’t insisted neither made further questions: probably he understood that the reason for her discomfort was related to Shuichi, now after all those years together he had learned to distinguish her "Akai face”. He knew perfectly her brusque reaction when she was forced to speak of him in delicate moments, if he would have investigated further he would only unleashed her anger. However he continued to hang around her all day, calling her with a pathetic excuse to work in his office rather than be alone: it was his way to demonstrate that he was there, that he wouldn’t have abandoned her. She appreciated this paternal side of James, it was like having another father, the figure of support that we all need despite the age.
- Hey, Jodie? But are you listening?- he called her attention, noticing that she was distracted again.
- Sorry James, my mind isn’t all here today- she admitted - Could you repeat?-
- Never mind- sighed the man, closing his eyes - Why don’t you go out and get some fresh air? It’s not the case that we continue on an important point if you are not concentrated to the maximum-
- No, now I put myself back on my feet and we continue, we have to finish this work as soon as possible!- she tried to be as convincing as possible, despite the fatigue.
- You’re not in the mood today, I understood it- he made her desist - Go take a walk to clear your head-
While guiltily she decided to take James advice, he had a point. Stay there only physically and taking a walk was the same thing.
She left the office direct to the coffee vending machine, thinking that that stimulating drink would help her to recover a bit. She walked with her head down, afflicted because of what had happened last night and also for the weakness that she couldn’t overcome. When she was less than four meters away from the machine, she looked up and found the very last person she wanted to see: Shuichi. On the other hand she had to imagine that he was there, where there was the coffee he was there. Stupid to not have thought of it before! She stood on the spot, undecided about what to do: go get that coffee was tantamount to face him, and go away to not see him meant giving up on coffee. She had no desire to face him, she still felt not ready for a face-to-face; so she chose to return to the office along with James without having taken anything. Just took her first steps in the opposite direction, she heard Shuichi’s voice behind her.
- Jodie?-
She swallowed hard, but her breath became heavy. She thought of being able to leave without him noticing her, instead he had caught her in the act as a thief who escapes into the night. What should she do now? Ignore him or answer? If she just pretended to not have heard him surely Shuichi would have followed her, he wasn’t the type who gave up easily, so she took courage and turned to look at him, but didn’t say anything.
- Do you have a minute? I would like to talk- he asked.
His tone was calm, there was no trace of the poison that he had spat on her the night before. Too bad she was still feeling the pungent odor on herself, as if her body had been impregnated.
- I'm sorry, I have no time, I have to get back to work- she hastened to dismiss it with an apology.
- I will steal you only a few minutes- he insisted.
- Now it’s not the time- she shook her head, returning to start down alongside the hall and leaving him there alone.
She had no idea of what he should say to her, she thought he had been already too clear last night. Maybe he wanted to make her an apology? It wasn’t like him, Shuichi the perfect man who humiliate himself to apologize for his mistakes. Moreover, it wouldn’t have pleased her another "thank you" like the one that still resonated uncomfortably in her head. She was still too angry to hold a civil conversation with him, so for the moment it was better avoiding it.
- Are you running away, Jodie?- she heard him provoke her, his voice was more and more distant.
She clenched her fists, trying to contain the anger that could explode at any moment. Her nerves were on edge and being provoked didn’t help her to calm down.
- I’m not the one who run away- she replied coldly and suggestively, hoping that man understood the true meaning.
She received no answer, she not even turned around to see if the arrow that had shot had hit the target. She didn’t care, she just wanted to go away and get away from him.
Before returning to James office she made a stop in the bathroom: she couldn’t have a coffee but at least she could freshen her face. She removed her glasses and put them in her pocket, then opened the tap and with a hands took a bit of water and swabbed it on her face. When she looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror she wrinkled her nose: she really had an awful aspect. If she had made a challenge of bags under the eyes with Shuichi for sure she would beat him. It made her wonder if her relationship with him was definitely worn as her face. She had passed a break up, three years of distance, a fake death; yet she couldn’t overcome a spat that apparently seemed much less serious than all the rest. Yeah, apparently… because for her those words had a much larger weight of a "that’s why we have to put an end to this" or "if you want to fool your enemies you have to fool your friends." She had managed to remain her friend despite the feeling that she still felt for him, but now she didn’t know if she would be able to approach again to him as a friend. He had refused her as a girlfriend and now, in a sense, had also refused her as a friend. Perhaps it would be better to be simply two colleagues working together, but in her heart she knew that this would have been difficult to achieve. Feelings can’t be erased only with the will. What would become of them, then?
Aware that she couldn’t control her emotions and foresee the future that awaited her, she remained to stare sadly at her own eyes in the mirror, waiting for an answer that never came.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
More and more cheerful this story! XD I assume that all of you had already guessed that this chapter wouldn’t have been just a riot of joy, but I hope that it hadn’t depressed you too much, especially in the second part!
Arrived at this point what do you think? Will they clarify or not? If you want to let me know even what you think of this new friendship that Shiho has made with her peers, as always I will listen gladly to your impressions! ^ - ^
Thanks as always to all those who are following this story! ♥
A lot of kisses
Place. -
+1 .
Link to Italian original text: #entry604682491
Chapter 13: When the past come back
She plunged again the spoon in the pint of strawberry ice cream where she searched for solace after that hard day, while with the other hand continued to change channel in the hope of finding a pretty interesting program to distract her from her thoughts. That sense of depression didn’t want to leave her body and her head, the memory of the words spoken and unspoken tormented her. She felt she had lost something important, but at the same time had the bitter knowledge that she had never possessed it. You can’t lose something that is not yours.
She let slip the TV remote on the sofa next to her legs drawn up, giving up searching for something interesting: that night even the schedule wasn’t on her side. She was looking reluctantly that cheap movie from for which she had opted when the doorbell rang. She turned toward the door, bewildered: who could it be at that hour? The first thought fell on James, who during all the day had worried for her; however it seemed strange that he even went to her house, after all she wasn’t dying, she had just had a bad day.
She rose reluctantly from the couch, putting the ice cream pint with the spoon in it on the table and went to the door by pressing the button on the intercom and doing the usual question.
- Who is it?-
- It’s me- simply said the voice at the other end.
She winced, recognizing the tone of her interlocutor: the last person she would have expected to find in front of the door, but the first that occupied her thoughts since last night. The heart started to pound in her chest, she felt as seized by a panic attack. What should she do? She couldn’t pretend not to be at home, she had already responded, but she didn’t want to face him. After a moment of hesitation, she decided to do what was more civilized doing: she opened the door. She found him in front of her with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hands, colored anemones and some calendula in between. There were only two reasons why a man might show up at a woman’s home with flowers: tell her that he loved her or apologize. Considering the nature of their relationship at that time, it was much more likely that Shuichi was there for the second option. However, she was surprised at this unexpected gesture, it certainly wasn’t from him humiliate himself to that.
- Can I come in? I would like to talk- he said to break the silence.
She wanted to answer him as she had responded a few hours earlier at work, but she was trapped, she couldn’t said to be occupied at ten thirty in the evening. So she sighed and motioned for him to enter, gesture that the colleague understood immediately.
- What are you doing here at this hour?- she asked, even knowing the answer already.
- It’s obvious, isn’t it? I came to give up the fight and make my apologies- he handed her gently the bunch of flowers, which she took with pleasure.
- Thank you, they are beautiful- she hinted a smile, admiring them and inhaling the scent.
She looked around, looking for something where she could put them: her eyes fell on an empty ceramic pot placed in a corner on the ground near a piece of furniture. She took it and filled it with fresh water, then removing the paper and ribbon from flowers and placing them inside. Finally she placed it on top of the furniture itself, all under the watchful eye of Shuichi who doesn’t stop watching her for a second. Probably he expected that from her mouth came out a few words, whereas she was the one talkative and expansive between the two of them, but after realizing that he wouldn’t get anything he started asking questions almost silly, just to strike up a conversation.
- I disturbed you while you were eating dessert?- he nodded to the pint of ice cream that she had left on the coffee table.
- I just wanted something sweet- was all she said, closing the pint and bringing it back in the refrigerator before the ice cream melted completely.
She was escaping from him and for sure he had understood it. She would have been hypocritical to say that cute gesture hadn’t affected her or she didn’t like those beautiful flowers; but the anger was still deep and the knowledge that her feelings weren’t reciprocated prevented her to take advantage of the situation. It wasn’t the right time to have a conversation and she had to make that clear.
- Listen Shu… - she began, not knowing what words using - You've been really nice to come here to apologize and bring me flowers, I appreciate it, really. But now I don’t feel to face it, I’m not in the mood. I won’t make the situation worse, so I prefer to talk at another time, forgive me- she concluded, taking a deep breath.
- Jodie you’re not a child anymore, you're a grown woman, you should learn to deal with certain situations. Do you really want to pout and ruin our relationship because of a dispute which has now been cleared?- he fixed her with a stern look, as he used to do when he wanted to pose as a mature and superior man.
That was the straw that broke the camel, those words perhaps even worse than those of the previous evening. She a little girl?! She couldn’t be it even when the chronological age would grant it to her, let alone now! It wasn’t her who was ruining the relationship, it was him with his lack of tact and feelings. In the growing anger that clouded her mind, she wondered for the first time how she could have fallen in love with such a person , a man who wasn’t even aware of how his words could hurt more than the bullets fired by his beloved rifles. She wasn’t perfect, but she deserved better. She was wasting her time behind someone that didn’t even realize how much love she had given him without asking anything in return. It was time that he knew. Shuichi Akai had to realize that he wasn’t as perfect as he pretended to be.
- If I were a little girl I wouldn’t have borne all this, on the contrary I would have already told you to go to hell for a while!!! I wouldn’t have continued to worry about you as it does a faithful wife after that six years ago you gave me the sack with an absurd excuse!!! You're the one who ruined everything and you did it when you've never bothered to get me one, damn phone call to know how I felt after you had ditched me!!! And don’t say you couldn’t because otherwise they would have discovered you, the time to call James to talk about how your mission was going there you had it and how! I wanted to hear you saying you missed me as much as I missed you, even if it was just a lie to make me happy I would have believed you anyway! But the truth is that you didn’t leave me because you were afraid of betraying yourself during the mission… the truth is that you were already in love with Akemi. After her death you’ve shut down and although it’s already passed a year you seem to have no intention of open yourself again. It almost seems like you feel a sort of obscure pleasure in continuing to bask in your world of pain and guilt. I tried, I tried with all my might to bring you back to the surface from the abyss in which you are sunk, but you insist on refusing my hand! I... I got tired of knocking on a door that doesn’t open-
She was passed by shouting in his face with all the breath she had in her lungs to shed tears as she spoke the last words in a weak voice, all without even realizing it. She had almost caught her breath between a sentence and the other, the words flowed relentlessly like a river in flood. Words that for too long had been held inside, words she had never found the courage to say. She knew that now everything would have changed, she could no longer go back on anything, as he knew she had confessed in an indirect way what she still felt for him. This wasn’t how she had imagined the moment when she would have said that she still loved him. Confused and unable to deal with all those feelings she was feeling in a moment, she continued to cry and look him straight in the eyes, waiting for his reply. For all the time in which she railed against him, he had been looking at her with a bewildered face, incredulous that anything was really happening. He had never seen her so angry and exasperated, perhaps had never even thought she would come to that. Now, however, he stood in silence with eyes closed, probably elaborating every word and drawing his conclusions. She would have liked to hear something, anything, even negative, as long as he talked. The total indifference would have hurt her more than an icy response. But the sniper continued to stand in absolute silence.
Now unable to take any more, she walked briskly to the door, opening it wide abruptly.
- Get out!- she ordered, an unusual spark of fierceness in her eyes.
Without putting up any resistance and fight back, Shuichi walked slowly toward the door with his eyes closed, impassive as always. Certainly she didn’t expect an answer before he left her apartment, now she no longer expected anything from him. She didn’t even look at him as he crossed the threshold and walked down the corridor to return to where he came, she didn’t want to see that indifference that wore her out inside. She closed the door and leaned against it with her back, slipping to the ground like blood flowing from a wound, bursting into tears. From tomorrow, nothing would ever be the same. She had lost her shoulder, a friend, the love of a lifetime.
When she opened her eyes againthe sun had already risen for some time, she could glimpse it from behind the graceful curtains that covered the French doors. Despite the drowsiness indicated that she had slept, she felt tired as if she had been working all night. She rolled over on her back, moving the covers: only then she realized she was in her bed. There would be nothing strange, that's where you go to sleep, the problem was that she couldn’t remember when and how she had arrived there. The last image projected in her mind was the one of Shuichi who went away after she had thrown him out: everything else was a huge black hole. She ran her hands over her face and head, then she reached out the hand and took the phone on the bedside table to check the time. She noticed that , in addition to five missed calls from James, she also had two missed calls from Shiho dating back to the previous evening. She was so absent that she hadn’t even noticed the phone was ringing, or maybe she had heard it but had been unable to answer, and now she couldn’t remember it, like everything else. She guessed she had phoned to see how he felt after the discussion with Shuichi at Kudo’s house, but at that moment she had no desire to talk about him or them , so she decided that she would call her back when she would feel able to face the topic. She wasn’t even sure of being able to go to work, she didn’t have the head to stay focused on something that would decide the fate of her father's assassin, not to mention that she would come into office with more than two hours late. So phoned James, to give at least an explanation.
- Jodie, but where have you gone?! I’ve been trying to call you for two hours!- he scolded her immediately as soon as he answered the call, without even wishing her good morning.
- Sorry James, I woke up just a few minutes ago. I don’t feel well at all, I don’t think I could come today. I feel even worse than yesterday- she justified herself, hoping to get by.
- What's wrong?- he asked James, a bit worried.
- Nothing serious, I think it's just a little bit of flu- she lied, although she knew that James would have hardly believed at it.
- Jodie, you can’t give up right now, we must prepare us well for the process if we want to win it- he reminded her, as if she didn’t know.
- I know, and tomorrow I will do everything possible to be there, I swear, but today I just can’t do it-
- By chance the reason why you can’t come to work today is the same for which this morning Akai is more sullen and misanthrope than usual, which in recent times was no longer as he was months before?- he asked bluntly.
She remained puzzled by the question and by how, despite being aware of acumen of the man that had grown her during all those years, he managed to understand and connect everything anytime.
Recovered from the surprise, she felt the anger raising inside her. If she was sick there have to be due to Shuichi?! She cursed herself again because of the way she eclipsed herself behind the figure of that man, so as to make it visible to all. Maybe it wasn’t just James, maybe her colleagues gossiped about this behind her back. She imagined their comments, like “Have you seen how she follow him around like a puppy?” or low-level things like that. Moreover, it wasn’t her problem if Shuichi was grumpy: he was born that way band would have died that way as well.
- Is it possible that all that concern me must necessarily revolve around him?! He’s not the center of the world!!! Now I can’t even get sick?!- she shouted and then hang up the phone down.
She regretted it soon after, realizing that in the end James wasn’t the one to blame, he was just worried for her.
Exhausted by the whole situation, she turn over on her side and completely covered herself, annoyed even by sunlight filtering through. She had no desire to get up from there or doing anything.
………………..
He stood for a moment staring at the phone display where the call had just been stopped, struck by the vehemence with which his interlocutor had replied. When she reacted that way the situation was more serious than it seemed, now he knew her well.
He sighed, closing his eyes and thinking about what to do. Then he went out from his office and went to search for Shuichi, who hadn’t communicated what he would have done that day. He found him in an office isolated from the others, which they used as an archive, sitting at a desk to read some documents contained in old files. Seeing him entering, he looked up from the reading.
- Has something happened?- he asked immediately, thinking that if the boss came to him it was for an emergency.
- No, I just wanted to ask you if you could keep it all under control for a few hours, I have to go out. You're my best man, I do not know who else to ask- he admitted, renewing the great esteem he felt towards him.
- Is everything ok?- he asked again, as if sensing that he was hiding something.
- Yes, I just have to take care of something before it's too late. Then, can you replace me?- he simply replied, not wanting to tell him what he should do.
- Sure, I’ll take care of it- he agreed.
Without another word he left the room, took the elevator and went to the parking lot outside the building, getting up on his car directed by Jodie’s home.
About twenty minutes later he was at the door of her apartment. He rang the bell and waited until he heard the voice on the intercom.
- Who is it?-
- It’s me-
The lock clicked and the door opened, showing the young woman not quite in her best form. Her eyes were red and swollen a sign that she had cried a lot, she had tangled hair and was still wearing her nightgown which she had covered for modesty throwing a cloth over her shoulders and rolling it up on herself. Certainly her wasn’t an excuse not to go to work and loiter around the city.
- James, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?- she asked surprised.
- Today I have something more important to attend than job-
He knew that who with time had come to regard as a daughter would understand that the important thing to which he was referring was her; in fact Jodie threw herself into his arms and began to cry again, sure he wouldn’t have considered her too immature or weak. Probably those were the words she wanted to hear from another person, the same for which she was shedding tears. He was the only one to know about their history, the only one who knew how much she had suffered in the last few years. He hugged her strongly and slowly made her walk up to the couch, where they sat down and she continued to let off steam crying into his chest for several minutes while he tried to comfort her, stroking her head. They stayed that way until Jodie calmed down, while continuing to remain embraced to him.
- I'm sorry, I'm being silly- she said, wiping her eyes.
- You're just a bit down in the dumps, it happens to everyone- he reassured her - How about I take you out for lunch to eat something good? But you have to clean yourself up-
- Thanks, but I'm not hungry- she shook her head.
- Come on, you have to eat something. If you do not like to go out I'll make you something, but you have to dress up- he recommended, as a father would.
- All right, grumpy old man!- she smiled, giving in and giving him a pinch on the shoulder, and then getting up off the couch and going to her room.
- About the grumpy I can also turn a blind eye, but about the old no! Be careful how you talk to me young lady!- he pretended to be serious, but you could tell he was joking to cheer her up.
He got up from the couch too and began to look for something in the pantry to prepare. He finally decided to make rice with meat and vegetables, a simple but nutritious dish, not to mention that there wasn’t much left in the house, as often happened to all of them agents of eating out.
He put the water to boil in a pot and proceeded to chop vegetables. After a while Jodie joined him, with a decidedly cooler look: she had rinsed the tears from her face, her hair was combed and tidy and she was wearing a blouse and a pair of jeans, definitely more appropriate than the succinct petticoat. Apparently it seemed that she felt better, but he knew that within her the fire was still burning. Probably she didn’t want to broach the subject, but he had to ask anyway.
- So, you want to tell me what happened with Akai?-
- Please, can we change the subject? Otherwise I will not be able to swallow even a mouthful of what you are preparing- she sat down at the table, sighing.
- I'm sorry to insist, I know how you feel and I will not meddle in your romantic affairs, but I'm also your boss Jodie and I would make sure that there won’t be disagreements at work among my subordinates. You are two good agents and I need both. You have to work together again for a long time and I don’t want that your professionalism will fail for personal matters- he explained seriously.
- It won’t happen- she said convinced - I just need a few days alone to dispose of the whole. In this regard, could we work alone outside the headquarters? I would feel less nervous, and I could concentrate better. We can work here, or at your apartment- she suggested.
- Jodie, you have to come to work, you are no longer a stubborn little girl with whom I have to make compromises- he reaffirmed.
- You're right, I'll try to pull myself together as quickly as possible. But you should do this speech also to Shu, because I'm not sure he wants to work with me again-
- The matter is really that serious?- he asked, more and more confused.
- Enough- she simply answered.
Going on like that he wouldn’t come to anything. He asked her questions and she answered vaguely, the whole matter was shrouded in utter mystery. But he hadn’t gone there to play the detective, he had gone there to solve the problem and whether to do so he had to be insistent then he would have been. He began to scrutinize and stare at her , trying to intimidate her to such an extent as to make her spill the beans. Usually it was a move that worked. As expected, he saw her turning her eyes in exasperation.
- We had a heavy discussion, he said things, I said things and then I kicked him out of here- she summarized briefly.
- You kicked him out?- he marveled.
- Yes- she nodded - He came to apologize after the other night at Shinichi Kudo’s house he hadn’t behaved very well towards me- she nodded to the vase of flowers over the furniture - But I had no desire to talk to him because I wanted to let off some steam. He insisted, has provoked me, and I... - she took a break, getting sad - I screwed up-
- What do you mean?-
- That I reproached him things I have kept inside for years... - she shook her head.
There was a moment of silence, during which he took the opportunity to throw the rice in boiling water and mixed it. He thought about all that Jodie had just said, imagining what might be these things that she had held inside. Once she had confessed to him some of them unwittingly, one evening when she had exaggerated with the wine, but he didn’t feel to touch the topic again. Maybe she didn’t even remember.
- Maybe it's not a bad thing that you had vented, pretending that all was ok wasn’t a solution- he finally said - In these years I’ve always heard you say "it’s all ok" every time I asked you if something was wrong with him, but it was obvious that wasn’t ok. There is nothing wrong if you felt anger towards him, the important thing was that this anger didn’t turn into hatred and to not make it happen you had to get rid of it and turn it into words. Now that you've done it you can go on-
- The problem is that I have turned them into acidic words that I can’t take back... - she looked down.
- Can I do something to help you?-
- I’m no longer a child, you've said it yourself. If I get in trouble I have to get out on my own- she tried to smile.
She was right, there were things in which he couldn’t help her. He could care for her, he could prepare lunch for her, but he couldn’t meddle in her emotional issues. All that remained for him to do was encouraging her to do her best. He returned the smile, continuing to cook for her as he did in the old days.
……………….
He closed even that file, putting it in the ranks of those already read. By now even the lunch hour had passed and no one had come to him, so everything had to be under control. He wondered if James had already returned and above what he had to do. He looked worried, but certainly if there was a problem that concerned the FBI he would have told him. He picked up another file from the ranks of the non-read, and opened it, beginning to view the documents inside it: they were all notes which he had collected during his years as infiltrated in the Organization. You could define it a blast from the past, but certainly not with pleasant memories. Every page that he leaf through was a wound that reopened. A revenge that had cost him a lot, his. In his mind overlapped different thoughts, from his father to Akemi. People he loved and that had been taken away from him. Suddenly, however, the memory of his break up with Jodie resurfaced as clear as if it happened yesterday. He remembered every word they had said in that car that no longer existed, as their history. Although he had tried not to give it too much weight, as he did with the things that were too uncomfortable to accept, he knew he had broken her heart, but he never thought that Jodie harbored grudge against him for that. She, who had always forgiven him everything, even the mistakes that he had never forgiven himself. For its part, even for him that day hadn’t been easy. He hadn’t certainly left her with a light heart as she thought, he hadn’t felt joy in sacrificing the woman he loved for a dirty job. His feelings were real, but now he was paying the price for never telling her or at least hinted it. He knew she still felt very strong feelings for him, he had long understood, but he preferred to play dumb to not delude her to want to start a relationship with her. His heart wasn’t in peace to start a relationship, either with her or with any other woman, but he had always tried not to make her suffer.
At that thought came back to his mind the words that Shiho had said the night before: "have respect for her feelings”. She must have realized what Jodie felt too. It was then that he realized he actually hadn’t certainly done his best to have respect for her feelings, because he had never bothered to hide his feelings for Akemi even when she was near him and could perceive them without him speak openly. Taken as he was his stoic pain, he hadn’t realized that she was suffering too at seeing him in that state and in knowing that she wasn’t the woman in his thoughts. That woman who he had had to sacrifice for his mission, that woman who first had made him feel strong feelings after he had decided to withdraw into himself because of his father’s death, had always been there for him and he had made her feel like there was always something more important of her. Jodie was a fantastic woman, who would certainly not have trouble finding a thousand men ready to make her feel like a queen; nevertheless she had chosen him, that no matter how gallant and polite was, he wasn’t the prince of fairy tales. And he had squandered that opportunity, too focused on itself and its objectives. He had been blind before all, and even when he had seen, he preferred to pretend not to have, because it was easier. To silence the feelings was the best thing to do, because facing them would have made him vulnerable and he couldn’t afford it.
He put the documents in the file and closed it, leaving it on the desk. He had too many thoughts in mind, it was useless to try to focus. He folded his hands behind his head and stood in that office isolated and poorly lit, to reflect on his mistakes.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
Hi everyone! ^-^ How many of you were expecting this implication in the story? All because I’m too predictable! XD I leave comments and impressions to you, making just a little note on the flowers that Shuichi had brought to Jodie. Japanese culture enthusiasts will know that in Japan is very widespread the Hanakotoba, or the language of flowers (do you remember that episode of Clash of Red and Black where the MIB send a columbine plant to James and Conan explains its meaning?). I decided to use it too in this chapter and I report what the flowers that Shu gives to Jodie mean (although I think it's pretty clear!):
"Even a bunch of colorful anemones (all colors except white) is a clear symbol of reconciliation […]Marigolds that in the language of flowers indicate "pain and sorrow" and show repentance. "
Source: www.edendeifiori.it/il-linguaggio-dei-fiori
As always, let me know your impression if you want!
And thanks to all who read!
Kisses
Place. -
+1 .
Link to Italian original text: #entry605660214
Chapter 14: Confessions
- I don’t understand anything anymore with all these big words and passages!- complained the heiress, putting her hands in the hair - But what the heck they are for?!-
- I guess for the experiments in the laboratory, right?- suggested Masumi, turning to look at her to ask for confirmation.
- If we want to put it in general terms yes, actually they are needed for many things- she pointed out, feeling proud of what she knew in that field - What is it that you don’t understand exactly?-
- Several things, for example this polymerase chain reaction- she pointed to the paragraph on her textbook - It’s explained in a difficult way!-
- The polymerase chain reaction is a molecular biology technique that can copy DNA fragments of which you know the original nucleotide sequence and the final one. As you know DNA has a double helix structure when it is complete. In this case we have a single filament, or a fragment of the entire DNA, of which we know the initial nucleotide sequence and the final one: using the polymerase chain reaction we can reconstruct the other helix, or other fragment that we need to create a complete DNA. It is more clear now?- she looked at her, without hiding a hint of pedantic air for the explanation she has just given.
- Of course!- exclaimed Masumi, excited.
- You're really talented in this field Shiho-chan!- complimented Ran, who had started to call her amicably with that suffix, then copied by the others.
- Yes, now it’s a bit more clear, thanks Shiho-chan!- smiled Sonoko.
It was now late afternoon, and outside there was still a pleasant climate, ideal for an exit, but they had decided to meet at Shinichi's house to prepare for an upcoming biology exam. Shinichi excluded, the other three girls (in particular Sonoko) were quite dubious about some points and so she had offered to help them to review, because of her competence in this regard. She felt proud of what she was doing, she loved her job even more now that she could use it for right purposes and benefits. It was gratifying to see how those guys, who were just two years younger than her, were looking at her fascinated by her wisdom, much more advanced than that of a normal girl of eighteen years old. They had thanked her many times and filled her with compliments, making her feel important. She had never felt like this, not even when she was working on that project that her parents had bequeathed her, and that in the end had backfired.
They were finishing to review the last points when their attention was caught by the sound of the front door being closed, a sign that someone had entered. It could have been one person, but despite this they all stared into the deathly silence the living room door, waiting for the figure in question to appear. Seconds later Akai appeared, as expected.
- Good evening guys- he simply said, in a rather detached and far less expansive way as he did when dressed the role of Subaru Okiya, without even making much attention to the fact that both her sister Shiho were within that study group.
- Welcome back!- they greeted him almost in unison.
- Shu-nii!- exclaimed Masumi, standing up and running to him and then embracing him, happy to see that older brother who she adored but with whom she hadn’t often occasion to spend time.
- No doubt that Sera-chan elder brother is so beautiful! I almost get his phone number!- said Sonoko slyly, making their arms fall.
- I’ll tell Kyogoku-san!- rebuked her Ran.
Disinterested in the subject, she turned to look at the Akai siblings, curious to know how two people so different could relate to each other. Since she had met Masumi she had always wondered if with her Akai-san was different, perhaps more expansive and less grumpy. The answer wasn’t long in coming, when she saw him melting the embrace and giving notice to her sister to return to her studies, then heading to the kitchen without saying a word. She felt sorry for that girl, who wasn’t looking for anything but the affection of her brother and at the same time she was angry with Akai for his behavior: if she had had the opportunity to embrace again her sister even for a moment, she would have done anything.
- No doubt that he’s not very friendly- let out Ran, transforming into words the thoughts of everyone present.
Masumi returned to sit with a despondent expression on her face, as if it was understandable. They tried to do their best to cheer her up, going as far as to tell her that maybe he had had a stressful day at work but certainly he wasn’t angry with her and he loved her. But they weren’t the ones who have to tell her that he loved her, it was him who had to make her understand it.
Outraged and curious at the same time, she stopped for a moment to listen to them and continued to stare at the door, as if she was trying to look through walls to see what the man was doing in the kitchen.
- Something wrong?- asked her Shinichi, who as a skillful detective must have noticed her distraction.
- I would ask a thing to Akai-san, but I don’t know if it’s the appropriate time, it seems that today he has a case of the grumpies more than usual-
- I think you should go, you know that he’s just waiting for you to go to talk to him if you have problems. Maybe seeing that you try to get close to him will lift his spirit!- he encouraged her.
She took a deep breath to work up the courage, it still wasn’t easy for her to deal with him or be alone with him in the same room. When she felt really ready, she apologized to the others and said she left for a moment, getting up and heading for the door. Before she was too far away to hear any word, she could hear the inopportune question of Sonoko.
- By any chance Shiho-chan likes Masumi’s brother?-
- But no, it's just that Shiho is a close friend of Jodie-sensei and would like to ask one thing to Akai-san since they work together she was unable to see her recently- denied Shinichi, who spoke to her aid.
She Thanked him mentally for having nip in the bud that suspicion unfounded and foolish, it did everything but it spread the rumor that she had a crush on that crabby who in brackets was her sister’s ex-boyfriend.
When she came into the kitchen she found him as he was savoring sip by sip a glass of Bourbon. Certainly it wasn’t the right time for a drink, but then he was a vaccinated adult and therefore free to do what he wanted. As soon as he saw her, he stopped drinking and stared at her in amazement, probably incredulous of the ease and speed with which she had approached him. She couldn’t blame him, until the day before she had always acted as if she preferred to avoid him rather than being his friend. Certainly she didn’t want to chat with him now, so she came straight to the point.
- Have you seen Jodie this morning?- she asked.
- Do you want to know if I apologized to her?- he replied, imagining where she was going with that question.
- I'm worried because last night I called her more than once, but she never answered. I thought she had gone to sleep and that she would have called me this morning, but I haven’t heard her all day- she explained.
She expected an answer, even sarcastic as he usually did, however the man remained silent and began to sip his Bourbon again, even averting his gaze. Gesture which, needless to say, made her furious.
- So, you saw her yes or no?!- she raised her voice, annoyed by his indifference.
- She didn’t come to work, probably she didn’t feel well- he answered, while still not looking at her face.
- And if she got sick at home and was unable to call for help?- she immediately became worried, thinking aloud.
- Don’t worry, I'm sure James went to visit her, if there were problems he would have said it- he reassured her.
- Then she must be angry with me... - she looked down - She wouldn’t make a point, it’s my fault if you two have argued-
- No, you're wrong. It’s with me that she’s angry, it's my fault- he admitted.
It was her turn to stare surprised at him: really he was admitting he was wrong? Had he really understood his mistakes and was genuinely repentant? If that were the case, he would earn some points to her eyes. She was curious to see if he really was as good as Jodie told her.
- Have you apologized to her?-
- I tried, but she didn’t like it particularly- he said, putting down the now empty glass in the sink.
- What does it mean?- she frowned, not understanding.
- What I said. In any case, don’t worry too much, you'll see that tomorrow she will call you. Now go back to your friends, or they'll think you prefer to be with me than with them- he closed the conversation, letting her know that he didn’t want to answer clearly to her questions.
Certainly she wasn’t satisfied of that explanation, not to mention that she could take back what she had thought of him before: she couldn’t see anything good in him. It seemed that he didmn’t care about anything except his huge ego. She wished that someone would made him understand that he had to come down from the pedestal.
She took the first steps out of the kitchen, then she stopped at the door and turned her head slightly to throw him one of her icy glares.
- I don’t know what are your feelings but Jodie really cares about you, try not to make her suffer otherwise you’ll be dealing with me- she warned him - I remind you that I was one of them, so don’t underestimate me- she added, referring to the Organization - And treat your sister better or she also will end up to never speak to you again- she ended.
She knew that he wouldn’t be intimidated by a young girl, she couldn’t be the person who would put him in his place; however, she wanted to make him understand that if he wanted to have a relationship with her he had to change his attitude. Maybe that would have made him desist from behaving like an idiot.
- What is this, a threat, Miss?- he made light of it, not seeming to take seriously her words.
This time she didn’t answer: she wanted to play at his own game. Without a word she returned to the other guys who were waiting for her to finish studying.
…………………….
She walked beside him down the hall, continuing to look around worried, like a spy who is afraid of being discovered. She clutched dossiers to her chest, perhaps without even realizing it, while making sure to stay as close as possible to James. She felt like a little girl who was afraid of getting lost in a large supermarket, and for this reason she never left the hand of her father. A stupid attitude if you thought she was now anything but a child. But she couldn’t help it, the fear of meeting his gaze was stronger than anything. She prayed with her whole being not to meet him, she wouldn’t know how to behave or what to say. She had exposed too much and couldn’t go back on what she had said.
- Are you looking for Akai?- asked James, noticing for a while her strange behavior.
- Huh?! N-no, no, imagine if I look for him, I don’t feel right about it!- she tried to deny the evidence, taken aback.
- If you want to go to talk to him before starting work go ahead, even I would feel more comfortable knowing that there is no conflicts among my subordinates- he encouraged her.
- No, really, now it’s not the time. If there will be an opportunity we will talk- she continued to remain firm on her position.
They entered in James office and closed the door, immediately starting to work at a good pace: they had so much to catch up.
They worked tirelessly until lunchtime, when James finally granted to both a well-earned break.
- How about going out to grab a quick bite in some nice restaurant?- he suggested, taking off his glasses and clutching his eyes with his forefinger and thumb of the right hand.
- We could go into a small revolving sushi restaurant that a friend has suggested me, you eat really well there!- she suggested.
It was then that it occurred to her that she hadn’t yet called Shiho after finding her missed calls on the phone. Between one thing and another, she had completely forgotten it.
- That sounds great- James agreed.
- Perfect, then let’s go!-
They went down to the parking lot, got into the car and headed down the road. After giving some indication to James, she took her phone and searched for Shiho’s number in the address book. She could take advantage of the car trip to make the phone call.
- Hello Jodie, is everything all right?- replied immediately the voice on the other end, with a visibly worried tone - I tried to call you several times but the phone rang empty… -
- Hello! Forgive me, I didn’t feel very well and at in end with work to recover and other stuff I forgot to call you back- she admitted.
- Are you ok now?-
- Yes, it's better, thank you-
- I'm happy. Listen ... can I ask you how things are going with Akai? He apologized to you in the end?-
She remained silent for a few seconds, getting sad. What could she say? If she would have told what had happened she would eventually worsen the situation not exactly rosy that already existed between the girl and Akai.
- Sorry, I am always too direct- said Shiho, not receiving an answer - I guess the reason why you felt sick is precisely the discussion you've had with him, I didn’t want to make you feel worse-
- Don’t worry- she reassured her - In any case things don’t go very well-
- He said you other unpleasant things? Yesterday when he returned from work he had a strange face and seemed more sullen than usual-
- And how do you know?- she was surprised.
- Because I was at Shinichi’s house and I talked with him-
Again she didin’t know what to say, she didn’t expect to hear those things. She believed she was the only one to suffer, because between the two she was the only one to feel strong feelings: instead she had just realized that she had hurt Shuichi in turn. Maybe they were two different griefs, maybe Shuichi had been simply point in pride, but in any case remained the fact that they had hurt each other.
She realized that James was looking at her out of the corner of his eye, probably having noticed her stricken expression. There was no need to resume the talk, she wanted to try to show him that she could be strong.
- How about if we meet and talk in person? So I explain you well- she finally said.
- Okay, tell me when you're free- she accepted.
- If that's okay we can meet even tonight-
- Perfect, I'll wait you at nine o’ clock then-
- Ok, bye bye!- she greeted her, trying to sound cheerful as not to worry her further.
She interrupted the call and put the phone in her jacket pocket, then glancing at the road to make sure that James was going in the right direction.
- Who were you talking to?- he asked, not wanting to ask her what she was talking about.
- With Shiho- she simply answered, as she had already told him the day before about the bond that had formed between them - It’s her who advised me the place where we are going now-
- What dishes they do in this place?-
She began to list all the dishes she had tasted that night, trying to recover the moral and not to fall into that spiral of depression that had swallowed her the previous days. She silently thanked James for not asking her anything about the content of the call, even though he realized that the subject was as always Shuichi.
Continuing to chat, they drove up to the sushi restaurant, where they allowed themselves a well-deserved lunch.
…………………….
She sat on the couch in front of her friend, watching the Doctor who brought them a tray with two cups, a sugar bowl and a steaming teapot. She thanked him with a smile before he left them alone to talk about personal matters. She took the teapot and poured tea into the two cups, then add the sugar in hers and stirred in order that it melted in the amber liquid. She had exchanged a few words with Shiho since she had arrived, mostly classic questions of fact such as "How are you?" or "What did you do today?": she knew that there was only one topic that the girl wanted to talk about, even though she was restraining herself to not be insensitive.
She took a first sip, noting that the tea was still too hot. It was then that her friend, who had never taken her eyes off her for a moment, decided to make the big question.
- So what happened yesterday with Akai-san?-
She took a deep breath, looking within herself both the strength to face again the topic for the umpteenth time and the right words with which to doing it.
- Last night he came to my apartment with flowers and asked to speak, probably he wanted to apologize- she began to tell - But I opposed, I didn’t want to talk at that time because I still felt hurt by the words he had said me the night before. He insisted, he provoked me and in the end anger has clouded my mind and I told him bad things with bitter tones. In the end I kicked him out of my apartment- she ended, closing her eyes.
- You kicked him out?! Now I understand why he had that face, being kicked out hasn’t certainly done good to his boundless pride- she ascertained the girl, shocked by that story.
Certainly in her thought she had to have already made an idea in which Akai was the one who had misbehaved and she was the victim; hard to believe but this time she was the one to have behaved in an unpleasant manner.
- Can I know what you told him exactly to made him more gloomy and grumpy than normal?-
She couldn’t say that she was taken aback, she expected that that question sooner or later would have come. She couldn’t just get by with a “I told him bad things”, Shiho wasn’t James, her curiosity of young teenager won on the judgment of an adult forged by years and experience. James hadn’t asked for details, she couldn’t wait to know them.
She found herself in trouble, not having a lie with which responding to her question and couldn’t telling the truth, because doing so would mean to confess that she was Akai’s girlfriend before he left her for Akemi. She didn’t want to remind her of that sister who was death, making her relive a pain that she knew herself, as she didn’t want to appear to her eyes as the former girlfriend discharged and abandoned. Her prolonged silence, however, only served to confirm to Shiho that she was hiding something big. She felt her eyes focused on her, impatient to know.
- Personal things between me and him, so to speak- she said finally, even knowing that for her it wouldn’t be enough.
- I don’t know why but I have thw feeling you're hiding something from me and I’m sorry for this, but I understand that there are things too personal that you'd rather not tell me. This doesn’t mean that you don’t trust me, right?- she asked for confirmation, perhaps fearful of the fact that having been part of the Organization leaded her to be seen in the eyes of others as a person who you shouldn’t trust.
- I'm sorry, it's not that I want to hide you things, it's just that... - she stopped, not knowing how to tell her the truth.
- What?-
She looked down, fought on to confess the truth or continue to keep for herself that secret. A part of her, the one that had always said that it was tired of the lies that had served as a framework in that whole affair, wanted to confess even that last hidden truth, but the other part told her that sometimes there are things that it’s better not to say, white lies to avoid worsening the situation.
- You know that you can say everything to me- reminded her the girl, more concerned with getting her full confidence than to make her spit it out.
Maybe it were those words to give her the necessary courage, perhaps the need to take off also that weight from the heart to finally be free. No more secrets, no more regrets, no more remorse. She wanted to have a clear conscience, whatever might be the price to pay. She stared at her intensely for a moment and then finally confessed.
- Shu and I were together before he infiltrate the Organization-
In the room fell silence again, Shiho stared at her with wide eyes as if she had told her that she had seen Cool Guy leaving the crime scene before he had solved the case. An impossible situation, almost unreal.
- Are you saying that you were in a relationship?- she asked for a confirmation, to be sure she got it right.
- Exactly-
She saw her assuming a strange expression, she was probably beginning to realize where she was going with that speech. That was the thing she feared most: her reaction.
- So you broke up because… - she didn’t end the sentence, but you could tell what she meant.
- Because he had to infiltrate the Organization establishing a relationship with your sister, and his mission was more important than anything-
- He’s the one who left you?-
She nodded sadly, but trying not to look like a victim: she didn’t want anyone's pity, there were worse things in life than being dumped from the boyfriend.
- Why didn’t you tell me this before? I’ve always thought you was in love with him for some time but that you had never confessed it to him. But this changes everything... - she reflected on it.
- I didn’t want you to think that I might have a grudge against your sister because of this- she admitted.
- I understand... but you shouldn’t hesitate, I know you're not the kind of person who hates another for something it’s not guilty- she reassured her.
- Thank you- she smiled, happy to not having made a bad impression.
- But there is one thing that is not clear to me... what has this to do with what you said to Akai-san?-
- I reproached him for having left me with a pathetic excuse and that in fact he was already in love with Akemi. I also said that he has shut down and refuses to open up even though I have tried in every way to make him understand that I was always there for him. In a nutshell I confessed him in an indirect way that still have feelings for him- she sighed.
- I was hoping that you’d confess your feelings, but certainly not in that way- she admitted.
- I don’t know if we can still be friends or even work together and this pains me, because it was the only way I could be near him without being his woman- she looked down.
- Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe if I talk to him he will listen to me, after all he’s trying in every way to have a relationship with me-
- I thank you, but this time I have to do it on my own, I don’t want to involve you in this story because if I did I would end up distancing you from Shu and this is the last thing I want. I paid a high price for your approach and also I think I’ve already hurt him enough-
- If you want I can just put a good word to you with him-
- It is very nice of you, but there’s no need to do it- she smiled - But now let’s change the subject, tell me how are you-
Maybe it wasn’t nice to break off the discussion that way, but her mood was returning to be depressed and distressed, so the best thing to do was to stop talking about what made her suffer. She knew that Shiho would have understood and also she was happy with how she had reacted to her confession, it made her feel more relieved.
- Well, I have a news- she announced, showing the happiness in telling her that.
- Oh, tell me everything!- she clapped her hands curious and excited.
- I made friends with the investigation’s agency Miss, with the rich heiress and the younger sister of Akai-san, even if this last thing seems almost absurd- she made light of it.
- Are you serious?- she was astonished - I'm happy, Ran, and Sonoko are two good girls! As for Shu’s little sister, I don’t know her well, but if you managed to make friends with her it means she must be very different from her older brother!-
- At first I found it hard even to speak to her because physically they resemble a lot, then I realized that temperamentally they are like day and night-
- I am really pleased that you have bonded with guys of your age, at least you'll have someone to go to the arcade when I’ll come back to America!- she smiled.
- And I owe it only to you. I didn’t think that I would never been able to make friends with somebody, I thought I would have been hated because once I was a criminal, and for forcing Shinichi to live a life that wasn’t his. So I thank you, because it’s only thanks to you that I found the courage to give it a try. You have encouraged me to not be afraid to start over from scratch- she returned her smile, appearing sweet as ever.
- I had nothing to do with it, the truth is that you're a great girl and even without my help you wouldn’t have problems to be appreciated from others!- she winked - So now you think you’ll enroll at the University along with them?-
- I don’t know yet- she sighed - Certainly it would be an opportunity to finally live a normal life like any girl of eighteen years old, however, in the years I lived in America I did very in-depth studies, more than those which should make a normal high school girl, so going to university seems a waste of time, not to mention that I won’t ask for money to the Doctor to pay for my studies. It would be unfair, basically I’m nothing for him even though I live in his house- she explained.
- This is not true, I think the Doctor considers you as a sort of nephew if not the daughter he never had, so he would be very happy to help you with your studies-
- I know, but I don’t want that he uses his money for me without me giving him something in return. I'd rather get a job so I can help-
- Would you like to continue to do the scientist?- she asked.
- I would like, though for nobler purposes of course- she pointed out.
- So why do not you come to work in the FBI laboratory?- she suggested brightening - You could make a nice experience and then we would work together!-
- It would be an opportunity to be seized, but for now I don’t feel to leave Japan. Although it doesn’t seem, there are many things that I care for here- she admitted.
- I understand, you know I miss America too while I love this country. You may apply to the forensic department of Tokyo Police then-
- It’s not a bad idea- she appreciated the advice - Even if I don’t know how they would take seriously a teenage girl- she wrinkled her nose .
- You have plenty of time to think about it!- she smiled.
- And then I would also like to take an animal, but Doctor Agasa is really not hip to that- she sighed.
She pulled the phone from her jeans pocket, looked for something in the gallery, and then went and sit next to her and shown her photos of some lovely Akita Inu puppies she had seen in a pet shop in the neighborhood.
- Oh my God, but they are adorable! So cute!- she exclaimed, clasping her hands and taking them near her cheek, making eyes - You absolutely have to bribe the Doctor to buy you one!-
- I've already tried, but this is still his home and I can’t insist too much- she shook her head - However, changing the subject: are you free Thursday of next week?- she asked.
- I would say yes, why?-
- Because it's my birthday and I'd love to spend it with you-
- Really?- she gushed girlishly - Oh, but then we should certainly celebrate! What do you think of making a little party by inviting your new friends instead of going out just the two of us? It would be much funnier!- she winked.
- I don’t know, I'm not the type who likes parties, I think it’s clear- she pursed her lips.
- But we don’t have to make a reception as those of the Upper East Side, just a few hours spent in company here at home if the Doctor gives you the permission-
- Yes, maybe you're right, that sounds a good idea- she nodded - But at the party I will also invite Akai-san, because if I invite Shinichi and not him I will know about it and will think that I hate him. Is it a problem for you?- she asked staring at her seriously.
She remained silent for a moment, even if the answer was pretty obvious. With the atmosphere that was between them at that time, being in the same room at the same party it wouldn’t certainly brought joy and laughter; however, it wasn’t fair to exclude him from Shiho’s life now that they had made peace, for personal matters in which Shiho had nothing to do. It was her birthday party and it was right that she invited people close to her, regardless of the relationships that there were among them. Also it could be an opportunity to reconnect, if this was still possible.
- Absolutely not, it’s right that you also invite him- she nodded.
- Are you sure?-
- Yes- she smiled - And now we just have to ask permission to the big boss! Doctor Agasa?- she him called in a loud voice, with playful tone.
After a moment the plump figure of the scientist appeared in the room. His expression was a bit dazed, probably he didn’t understand why he had been called that way.
- Is there any problem?- he asked.
- No on the contrary, we would like to ask permission to do something!- she lifted the index, winking.
- What is it?-
- Shiho would like to give a little party for her birthday, with not too many people of course. For you it would be a problem doing it here in your house?-
- You really want to have a party?- he asked dazed at the girl, in disbelief at those words.
- Why, what's wrong?- she said, crossing her arms over her chest and assuming a frown.
- Oh, nothing, nothing!- he waved his hands - I'm just surprised, that's all-
- Then, can we have a party?- she asked again, trying to look as a puppy to get him.
- Of course, if it's just for a few people there’s no problem!- accepted with pleasure the Doctor.
- Thank you!- she thanked him happy, as if the party was hers - How about if we start to organize it now?- she asked to her friend - So we’ll see what is needed and especially who invite!-
- That sounds great!- she gladly accepted, smiling.
They spent the rest of the evening talking about drinks, cakes and everything concerning a birthday party. They didn’t touch upon Akai’s matter anymore, even when Jodie wrote his name on the guest list and Shiho watched the expression on her face to capture even the smallest emotion. There was nothing else to add, now it was only up to her and Shuichi himself to make things right.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
And here we are at the end of this fourteenth chapter, which certainly wasn’t rich in content as the previous one but rather of dialogues and clarifications. Of course the main purpose of this chapter, as you may have guessed from the title, was to confess even the last secret left, or that Jodie and Shuichi were dating and that he left her to infiltrate the Organization and get closer to Akemi. Then there are many things that seem superfluous or useless talk, but you will see that in the next chapters (as early as next) all will have a logical sense! I hope that the chapter may not have bored you too much! Thanks as always to all who read!
Kisses
Place
PS: If there is someone who studies chemistry / biology or science in general, I humbly apologize for the part where Shiho explains! XD Unfortunately I have done a few things in that field having stidied languages at high school and then over the years I ended up forgetting them, so I entrusted the help of Wikipedia and other sites! XD. -
+1 .
Link to original Italian text: #entry606901280
Chapter 15: Bonds
- Don’t you think you have exaggerated?- complained the scientist, barely holding in his hands all those shopping bags.
- I bought only what was on the list, nothing more and nothing less- replied her, who was holding only one shopping bag.
We were days away from her party and had decided to start buying everything she needed not to find herself burdened with things to do at the last minute. Obviously she had asked for help to the Doctor, who had later regretted that he had accepted. On the other hand a little effort wouldn’t have hurt him, even that could be considered physical activity. She was doing him a favor from her point of view.
The last thing that was left to do was deliver the invitation in person to those few acquaintances who she had decided to call. Almost as if fate had read her thoughts, she saw four figures in the distance who she knows well who were approaching in their school uniforms. When they were close enough to be recognized, Masumi began to greet her, waving her arms, as if they didn’t meet for ages.
- Hello Shiho-chan, are you doing some shopping?- Sonoko asked, noticing the Doctor and all those shopping bags.
- Actually yes- she merely replied, not wanting to reveal anything of the party before the official delivery of invitations - And you? How was in the end that science test?- she asked to change the subject and avoid to be asked what she'd bought.
- They haven’t given it back to us again, but it seems to me that it went well after the study day we did together- nodded Ran smiling.
- If we pass the exam we have to do something nice to thank her, what do you say?- suggested Masumi.
- I agree!- assented Sonoko.
- In this regard I have a thing to ask you- she took the opportunity - Can you come to the Doctor’s house? I would like to give you a thing-
- What?- asked Shinichi, giving voice to the thought of all of them.
They were all very curious to know, she could see it in their eyes and the expression of their faces: they were staring at her with wide eyes waiting for an answer.
- Come and see- she smiled, motioning to follow her with his hand.
So it was that they walked along the road back, chatting about this and that under the happy look of Doctor Agasa, who couldn’t wish more for her than the company of those guys.
When they arrived home she sat them down in the living room, while she and the scientist went to put the chopping bags in another room. Shortly after they returned the one with a tray and fruit juice glasses, the other with what appeared cards handmade, decorated in an elegant way. The high school students stared at them, probably wondering what they were. She distributed one to each, giving them time to read.
- I'd love if you came to my birthday party- she finally said.
- We will come with pleasure, Shiho-chan!- gladly accepted Ran, while Masumi and Sonoko nodded at her words.
- Well, well, I didn’t expect you'd give a party!- participated Shinichi, looking sly at her - I thought you'd celebrated alone on the couch reading one of those boring fashion magazines- he laughed at it.
- Instead you will celebrate your birthday among the corpses and no one will want to come!- she replied acid at the joke, glaring at him.
They all laughed, everyone except the young detective of course, who pouted as if no one understood his passion for murder cases. They stopped only when the sound of the doorbell came to their ears. Instinctively, they all looked toward the door.
- I’ll go, you guys can continue- said Agasa.
Shortly after they heard three familiar voices: those of the Detective Boys. They cackled like every children of that age, asking the doctor to help them solve a case. They were tender, now that their friend Conan was gone continued to work hard to hold high the name of the Detective Boys, though asking for help to the only accomplice who was left: that scientist with a heart of gold.
When the gang arrived in the living room looked at each other: probably the children were surprised to see them all there as they was in seeing them turn up in all of a sudden.
- Hi guys! How are you?- let out Shinichi, who still couldn’t pretend at all before those who for him, despite the age difference, had become real friends to whom he was very attached.
- You are Ran-chan’s boyfriend, aren’t you?- asked Ayumi smiling.
- Yeah, he’s that high school detective of whom everyone is talking about. He seems to be very good- pointed out Mitsuhiko.
- Don’t take him as an example!- dissuaded them Sonoko - Rather, what are you doing here, brats?-
- You’re always nasty with us!- complained Genta.
- Come on, there's no need to fight- she smiled, trying to put an end to that childish bickering - Why don’t you sit down too?- she invited them.
She immensely loved those children, she would have defended and protected them with her life. With the purity that only kids have, they had gave her joy, friendship, affection and many other things, without ever asking something in return except her presence. With them she could see the magic of the world that hides behind the bad and the rotten.
- I’ll get some glasses for you, so you can drink juice!- said the scientist, moving away toward the kitchen.
- Bring us also something to eat!- requested Genta, who never lost his appetite.
- How cute! Can I see it, Ran-chan?- asked suddenly Ayumi, watching admired the card that the girls was holding.
- Sure Ayumi-chan!- she gave it to her smiling.
- What is it?- asked in chorus Genta and Mitsuhiko, getting closer for a better look.
- It’s Shiho-chan’s birthday invite-
- Oh, when is it?- asked Ayumi, turning to look at her.
- In four days- she answered - Speaking of, wait me here-
She left the room for a moment under the curious gaze of all, then returnd a few minutes later holding some cards equal to those who had just given to her new friends.
- These are for you- she gave one to each of the children, who smiled happily as if she had given them beautiful toys.
- Thanks Miss Shiho!- said Ayumi.
- Just call me Shiho, ok?-
Since she was back in her old body, she had had occasion to see the Detective Boys several times, because they often went to the Doctor’s home; however, they continued to call her "Miss Shiho". Not that it was a lack of respect for her, on the contrary, it was just that been called like that made her feel even more the distance that had arisen between them. She was no longer their friend Ai and therefore couldn’t act like one. In her heart, however, she hoped to build a new relationship with them in the shoes she wore now, those of the real Shiho Miyano.
She guessed that for Shinichi was the same, she saw the nostalgia that veiled his eyes as he watched them. Those naive kids didn’t know that their friends were still there in front of them: they had preferred to conceal the bitter truth that perhaps they wouldn’t have been able to understand. By mutual agreement, they had asked Doctor Agasa to tell them a lie, saying that Conan and Ai had had to move in a hurry and didn’t have time to personally greet them, but they had left them letters. Needless to say they were very angry before, then had burst into tears, making them feel guilty. However, for their sake, that was the only lie of that story that had to remain a lie.
- Why did you invited even these brats at the party?- complained Sonoko - They’ll finish by ruining it. They can’t join a party of adults!- she folded her arms across her chest, acting like a snob.
- I’m really attached to these children, I can’t exclude them from the party- she simply said.
- You're right, I understand- supported her Shinichi, smiling.
- If so you made the right thing to invite them- nodded Ran, which was perhaps the only one who understood her and Shinichi’s reasons.
- Did you invited even Jodie?- asked the friend.
- Sure!-
- Are you talking about Jodie-sensei?- asked Sonoko, visibly surprised.
- You know her well, Shiho-chan?- added Ran, also surprised.
- Let's say that we became very good friends lately. It was she who had the idea to have a party-
- Excuse me… Jodie is that blonde woman with glasses who works for the FBI with my older brother?- intervened Masumi.
It was clear that she didn’t know her well as them, when Jodie had worked as an infiltrated at Teitan high school as an English teacher, Masumi had not returned to Japan yet. Just as her she had knew her vaguely only when the fight against the Organization had led them to join forces.
- Exactly- she confirmed.
Mentioning Jodie brought back to her mind the conversation she had had with her the night before. Even if the blonde had told her to not worry, she couldn’t help but think about how to reconcile her with Akai. Someone could think that she would have to see Jodie as a rival, since she was the other woman in Akai’s heart when he began dating her sister, but now Akemi was gone and it was right that Akai would start a new life, perhaps with Jodie at his side.
- Miyano?- called her back to reality Shinichi, who often addressed to her by her last name.
- Eh?- she got herself caught off guard.
- Is everything ok, Shiho-chan?- asked Ran worried.
- Yes, I was just distracted for a moment! I was thinking about what's missing for the party- she lied.
They went on talking for a good hour, until the orange color of the setting sun filtered by the windows, giving them the signal that it was time to return to their homes for dinner.
Two hours later she was at the door of Kudo’s house. She rang the doorbell, waiting. While waiting, she thought that if she was going to make that gesture it was more for Jodie than for herself, even though the result in the end would have been decided only by them. There were two possibilities: either they would reconcile, or they would have plucked out eyes at each other ruining the party. She confided in the first option.
Finally the door opened, revealing the figure of Shinichi.
- What are you doing here?- he asked surprised, since they had met earlier.
- I also have to invite another person to the party- she simply said, certain he would understand to whom she was referring.
The friend smiled, motioning with his hand to come in.
- I didn’t expect this- he admitted.
- I do it only for Jodie- she clarified.
He escorted her up to the salon, where they found Akai sitting at the other side of the table in front of a chessboard. From the position of the pawns it was clear that they were playing shogi. The FBI agent turned to her surprised to see her there, since the last time they spoke wasn’t exactly a friendly dialogue.
- Well, well- he finally smiled - To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit at this hour, princess?-
Probably he thought she was there to talk again about Jodie, now he had to surrender himself to the fact their conversations were focused on that topic.
- I came to invite you to my birthday party on Thursday- she went straight to the point.
She hadn’t prepared a card for him, has she hasn’t done one for Jodie: she thought that, as adults, in their eyes it would have been a ridiculous and childish piece of paper decorated by hand. An invite in person suited them more.
- Why are you inviting me?- he naturally asked, more and more surprised by the invitation.
- It’s you who told me that I could call you when I wanted to, right?- she said, quoting his words.
- If that's the case then I will come- he smiled.
She couldn’t tell him that she wanted him to her party because she hoped that he and Jodie would talk to each other, so she played the card of the kind words that he had said her the clarification evening. No matter the means used: what mattered was that he had accepted.
- Could you tell me where you bought the cake we ate last night?- she asked - I would like to buy one for the party-
- Don’t worry, I will go myself to get one and bring it to the Doctor’s home the party’s day- he offered.
- Thank you. Well, then I go- she greeted them.
- Wait!- Shinichi stopped her - Why do not you stay a little bit here?-
She almost smiled for that funny coincidence: Shinichi was trying in every way to do for Akai what she was doing for Jodie. Both had found someone extraordinary that it was worthwhile to help, the problem was that between them there was always someone in conflict with someone else.
She hesitated for a moment before giving an answer.
- Only half an hour, then I have to go because I promised the Doctor that I would have helped him to finish one thing- she agreed.
It was just a lie, actually the Doctor had nothing to do: simply she felt too uncomfortable to stay there until late. Although she appreciated the fact that Akai had gone to apologize to Jodie with flowers, she hadn’t yet fully forgiven him for his behavior. Moreover, after what Jodie had told her about their relationship and about Akemi, it wasn’t comfortable for her to be in the middle. She wanted to ask questions to him, to know things from his point of view; but she knew she couldn’t do, she had to respect Jodie’s will, not to mention that Shinichi was also present at the time and certainly she didn’t want to blurt out from the housetops her friend's personal issues.
- Do you want to play in my place?- asked the young detective, pointing at the board.
- No, thanks, I'm not very good at this game. I'd rather watch- she sat between them.
Looking at the board, for what she could tell, it seemed that the match for the moment was drawn.
- You are all good in your family at shogi?- she spontaneously asked to Akai, without even realizing it - Your brother is the Taiko Meijin-
- If you want to find out it means that one day I'll invite you to a family reunion- he replied with that mocking smile that he made every time.
- You can always play with Masumi now that you become friends, so you’ll solve all your doubts- intervened Shinichi, having made his move on the chessboard.
- I'm glad you've become friend with my sister- said the FBI agent, returning to focus on the game.
She continued to observe them and to exchange between a move and the other a few jokes with them, wondering how the atmosphere had become incredibly less tense. She could talk to Akai almost as if they were friends. There was no rancor, no prejudice. If he had always behaved that way, it wouldn’t be bad to talk to him, she had to admit it.
……………….
She quickly flipped through the various files for the second time, but again she didn’t found what she was looking for. By now there were so many papers and folders that she no longer knew what it was really useful and what it wasn’t: every little detail seemed important, but the more she added and the more she seemed to lose the thread.
- I told you Jodie, the folder with the document we’re seeking has remained in the archive- repeated James.
- So I'm going to take it and I'll be back- she rose from her chair, sighing.
It wasn’t hard to notice her tiredness, it certainly wasn’t escaped to James; however she couldn’t afford to give up right now. For this she never complained or asked to take breaks, she waited that James suggested a few minutes of rest from time to time.
She left the office where they were working and walked briskly in the archive. When she opened the door of the latter, she found inside the person she wanted least of all to be face to face with: Shuichi. Sitting at the desk, he was reading some documents he pulled from a folder. In the last few days he seemed to have spent time there, or at least that was what James had told her. No one knew exactly why he went there and what he read, as usual everything about him was shrouded in mystery.
She stood in the doorway staring at him, not knowing what to say. It was since the day she had thrown him out of her home that they didn’t spoke, not even a greeting. They had glimpsed occasionally along the corridors, but both had preferred to ignore and pretend not to see each other. It was obvious that neither of them, who for pride and who for embarrassment, wanted to take the first step.
They stared for a few moments, that seemed years to her; then Shuichi, without saying a word, closed the file he had in his hands and stood up proceeded to leave the room taking it with him. She, grasped the message, came in
with a hanging head, going straight to the shelf where all the folders were collected. She could choose to continue to humble herself alone and shut up, or fight back and prove that she could have the guts too. More than a demonstration of courage, however, to move her was the pain she was feeling for not having him anymore to her side. Shi missed even just having a coffee with him during the break or the times when they were together with Camel talking about work and other things. She needed his presence more than she wanted to admit it to herself.
- Shu- she called him, turning to him.
In response, the colleague stopped at the door, turning his head to look.
- How are you?- she naturally asked - We haven’t spoken since that night... - she looked down.
- And what about you?- he evaded the question, turning it against her.
- I've had better days- she admitted.
Again there was silence between them, it was hard to have a normal conversation if she couldn’t find the words, and he didn’t even make an effort to find them.
- Listen... I'm really sorry for how I acted, I apologize- she took the first step - I don’t really think all the things that I told you-
Maybe telling a little lie could facilitate her in the attempt of an apology: actualy she really thought all that had come out of her mouth, but to lie him to reconcile and have him in her life even as a colleague was less grueling than never talk to him anymore as if he were a perfect stranger. Sometimes to get something you have to lose another and she at that time had chosen to lose her honesty to get back someone much more important.
- You don’t have to excuse or go back on what you think, in life we must always be aware of our actions and consistent with our own thoughts- was his answer, direct and sharp in a certain way.
It wasn’t the fact that he was lecturing her like a girl who hasn’t yet learned how the world go to make her sad, but the knowledge that Shuichi had understood that her justification didn’t reflect the truth. He was convinced that she had abandoned all hope to stand by him, because drifting apart from someone like him was easier than investing energy to stand by him without receiving gratification. In addition, she allowed herself to re-touch the topic Akemi, which for him was a kind of sacred taboos of which only he could speak when and how he wanted. These two elements were enough to not want her anymore even as a friend.
She heard the sound of his footsteps and looked up hoping that he was going back: in fact he was leaving.
- Wait Shu!- she stopped him, almost chasing him - Will you come to Shiho’s party?-
She didn’t know why she had made that precise question in a moment like that, but perhaps the only explanation was that she wanted to save at least the relationship that she had been able to make him build with that little girl who for him was the last thing that remained him of Akemi as well as memories.
- I'm thinking about it, I don’t want to ruin her day since I can’t get her to like me-
- You have to go there, even if she’s a little tough sometimes she doesn’t hate you, she’s just suspicious- she tried to convince him - Look, if the reason why you don’t want to go is because I’ll be there too, I give up to come. I prefer that you to spend the last days in Japan with her- she looked at him seriously.
- We are two adults, we can stay in the same room at the same party even though there were disagreements among us. We are doing it even now, in a sense- he pointed out - Also Shiho will appreciate much more your presence than mine. And I don’t even know what to give her, since knowing her only from what I could see when we were both in the Organization, I have no idea what she likes in particular-
- This is not a problem- she hinted a smile - A few days ago she told me she wishes a puppy, but Doctor Agasa doesn’t give her consent. You could try to talk to him to convince him, of course when she won’t be present. If you succeed I'll give you the address of the pet store where she saw the puppies that she liked so much, so you will go without fail-
- The problem is that I haven’t seen the picture, so I couldn’t recognize them. Obviously I can’t ask her to see it, or she will understand-
- If you want I can accompany you when you go, I remember them well- she offered with a lot of hope.
- I'll see what I can do, in the meantime, thank you for the suggestion- he ended, then going away without saying anything else.
This time she didn’t stop him, though she wanted to ask if it was all right between them. It was clear from the unfriendly way in which he spoke that it wasn’t okay, a couple of excuses weren’t enough to bridge the gap that had been created between them and never as now seemed too big to be overcome.
She quickly wiped those two, small tears that had streaked her cheeks and went back to the archive shelf looking for that folder for which she had gone there.
………………
- This stew is great, you just get better and better Akai-san!- complimented him the scientist, when he had finished even the last bite.
- I'm glad you like it, Doctor- he smiled.
As soon as he had returned from work he had asked Shinichi to take out Shiho with an apology, explaining what had to do. He knew he could count on his friend, who hurriedly had contacted all the group proposing to go to the cinema to see a film that apparently they weren’t able to see a few days before. Fortunately, even Shiho had agreed, leaving the Doctor at home alone. As soon as he had made sure that the guys were gone, he had gone to the scientist's home with a pot of stew, proposing to have dinner together and telling him that he wanted to talk about something. He decided to follow Jodie’s advice, despite everything. She gave it to him honestly, he had perceived it, so he saw no reason to not take the opportunity. As for everything else, he preferred not to think too much: he would only further tormented. He was still metabolizing and reflecting on the whole issue, he didn’t know how to deal with her at the time. Only time would have given him an answer.
- So, what did you want to talk to me?- asked curious the Doctor.
- I knew that Shiho would love to have a puppy and I was planning to give it to her for her birthday, but I also know that you aren’t of the same opinion, right?- he came straight to the point.
- How did you know?- he was surprised.
- That doesn’t matter- he smiled.
- I'm sorry, I know Shiho really wants it but a dog is a big commitment. Also, I don’t want to find the house destroyed by a little troublemaker!-
- It is true that it’s a commitment, but Shiho is a responsible girl and will educate and care about it for the best. Also a puppy would make her feel less alone, although now she has friends for her is still difficult to approach people. Or maybe just me- he laught at it.
- You still don’t get along?-
- Not really, that's why giving her a nice dog would also make me earn points- he clarified.
He watched the scientist reflecting, frowning and closing her eyes. He hoped his arguments had been valid enough to convince him.
- Alright then- he gave up in the end - But just because I want you to go along!- he made clear.
- Thank you Doctor- he smiled, happy that he got what he wanted.
- Rather, will you really want to make her such an expensive gift?- he worried.
- No problem, also like I said I need an excuse to make her hate me less- he reassured him.
They finished dinner between a chat and the other, until he decided it was time to return to Kudo’s mansion before Shiho would come home.
Sitting at the desk of the library, in the company of a glass of Bourbon and a cigarette, he was relaxing reading a book.
In truth, more than reading carefully he thought from time to time to all what had happened during the day, particularly to his conversation with Jodie. Although he had told himself to not care too much about it, when he was alone he couldn’t help but think about it. The image of Jodie furious that spewed on him all those words was still vivid in his mind. Every time he reflected on how he had hurt her without realizing it, he told himself he was an idiot, adding every fault towards her to the collection of committed mistakes. A collection so big to make him a bad person, romantically speaking.
He wondered if he should call her or not after his conversation with Agasa. He knew he needed help, but wanted to avoid staying in close contact with her given the tension present between them: the last thing he wanted was to make the situation worse, if that were possible. Thinking about it, though, he had told her that as adults they should behave as such. If he couldn’t even talk to her on the phone, let alone how he would have behaved when they would have been together at the party.
Determined to take that step, he took the phone and searched Jodie’s number. He waited in line until the voice of the blond answered at the other side.
- Is it you, Shu?- she asked in astonishment, probably having read the name on the display.
- Am I disturbing you?-
- No, tell me-
- I spoke with Doctor Agasa and he agreed to take Shiho a puppy-
- Really? I’m happy!-
- But now I need your help. Is it still valid your proposal to come with me to the pet store to recognize the dogs?- he asked.
- Yes, of course!- she accepted without hesitation, shown all her happiness to that invitation.
- Then I'll let you know when we're going. Thank you for the help Jodie, goodnight- he wished her.
- Goodnight Shu- she replied in a soft tone so as not to seem the same person who got angry that way a few days before.
As soon as he hung up he noticed he felt more relieved in having made that call. When they got along, talking to her was pleasant: until that moment Jodie had never judged him, she listened to him even when he had nothing to say and addressed to him with that sweet voice that gave him peace and serenity. Anyone would have hold on to a woman like her, he instead have provide everything for granted and had never been able to prove that he fully appreciate what she gave him unconditionally. A simple "thank you" or "goodnight" on his part was enough to make her happy like a child.
The knot in his stomach that he had had in those days suddenly loosened, leaving room for the contentment of having given her a smile.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
Hello everyone! This time the chapter contains two main blocks: the one where Shiho reflects on his relationship with the Detective Boys and one where continues the story of Jodie and Shuichi. The title of the chapter is aimed precisely to emphasize the links that are being created or evolving between the characters, highlighting the most important ones. I would say that there is nothing to clarify but as always if you have questions or if there is something unclear ask me! ^-^
I hope you enjoyed the chapter, we are getting closer to the party, and there are still tensions that seem to not resolve!
Thanks to all who read it!
Kisses
Place. -
+1 .
Link to Italian original text: #entry608056158
Chapter 16: Going On
He knocked at the office door, waiting for an answer from the other side. When he received it, he opened the door and came in, finding that the man was alone at the desk. On the other hand, it was pretty early, many of his colleagues (or at least those who hadn’t returned to the United States yet) had yet to arrive, including her. Perhaps it was better this way, it would facilitate his request.
- You’re a morning person as always, eh Akai?- James pointed to him, not before giving a quick glance at the watch he had around his wrist.
- I have nothing better to do at home, I'm bored- he smiled, without hiding how workaholic he was.
- Rest and holidays for you are just a waste of time- joked his boss.
- Yeah- he simply answered - But it will surprise you to know that I came to ask you if I can have a half day leave from work. I would have a matter to deal with- he came to the point without a spin of words.
- Well, there’s not much work for you anyway, so just go- he agreed - Can I know what it is?-
- I have to buy a birthday present-
- A birthday? And whose?- he asked, trying to gather his thoughts and remember if it was any of his closest subordinates.
- Shiho Miyano- he answered, sure that James would have understood.
- But really? I didn’t know, the files that were collected about her didn’t include that information. Anyway, bring her my wishes too, we haven’t had many occasions to see each other or have a conversation, but she should remember me- he smiled.
- I will certainly do it-
He knew that James had understood how much he cared about establishing a relationship with that young girl, a true relationship that wasn’t based on false identity: for this reason he satisfied all his requests that had to do with her. Just pronouncing the surname "Miyano", his face became more gentle, as if he felt obliged to support him. He wondered several times if James felt, like him, somehow guilty for what had happened to Akemi, but perhaps the truth was that he felt guilty toward him, for having sent him to face such a big and delicate mission that he had paid at a high price. He wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, that their work included also this, but surely James knew better than him.
- By the way, could Jodie have the same permission? I understand that at this time she’s the one that has more work than anyone with the preparation for Vermouth’s process-
He saw the expression of his boss changing radically, taking a surprise and unbelieving air. Of course James was aware of his rotten relationship with his colleague at the time, Jodie was like a daughter for him, and when she had to vent she knew who to turn.
- Shiho would like a dog and she showed Jodie the photo, so I need her help to recognize it- he explained.
- Okay, if it's just half a day, it's okay- he consented, though he was obviously hesitant to the idea.
- If it is a problem and you are back with the job I can find another solution-
- No, as I said it’s only half a day. The problem is another one- he let it slip.
- And what is it?- he asked, even though he knew it.
- I've noticed the tension between you lately and I know how Jodie feels right now. You know that I esteem you a lot for what you do, you're my best man, but humanly speaking, you're not the kind of guy a father wants next to his daughter. I don’t want Jodie to deceive herself for your little attention or you can do her, though unintentionally, something else that makes her suffer. I still remember how she was bitter and afflicted when you left her for infiltrating the Organization, I had to help her pick up the pieces. Jodie can look like a strong woman and surely in her own way she is, but she’s not made of iron and the fact that she’s in love with you pushes her to never tell you no or rebel, so I don’t want you to take advantage of her kindness towards you. I know you don’t want to hurt her and I know that you love her, but I'm afraid she might misunderstand this affection. Try to understand me- he closed his eyes.
He understood it, for sure. There wasn’t one thing that wasn’t true in his words. James considered Jodie as a daughter rather than a subordinate, it made sense he’d tried to protect her from what might harm her, even from what he considered his "best man." He esteemed him on the working level, but he wasn’t a fan of him when it came to character and attitude, he had never hidden it. On the other hand, people who had learned to tolerate his way of doing could be counted on the fingers of a hand, and among them the first was Jodie.
- Don’t worry, I understood it- he simply replied, heading toward the door and greeting him with a wave of the hand.
As soon as he left the office, he found himself in front of the person he was talking about shortly before. He crossed his gaze with her, staring at her eyes that looked like ice moons. Though there was still some tension between them, Jodie hinted a smile, probably remembering the phone call of the previous night. He returned, infected by the innocence that painted her red cheeks each time he stared at her.
- I got from James the permission to take half a day off from work to get the gift for Shiho- he told her.
- Well, then I'll ask now too, hoping that James wouldn’t say there's a lot of work to do-
- No need, the permission is for both, I told him you would come with me-
- Really?- she was surprised - When will we go then?-
- Tomorrow, as the birthday is the day after. The puppy can’t stay at Kudo’s house for a lot of time, it wouldn’t be right for the owners-
- That’s right- she nodded - So see you tomorrow- she greeted him, smiling again before opening the door.
- See you tomorrow. And enjoy your work- he wished her.
………………..
She opened the car door and sat down, fastening her belt, while on the driver's side Shuichi set the mirrors. The store where they had to go wasn’t far from there, yet she felt the trip would last longer than expected. The idea of staying closed in such a small space as a car with him made her nervous. She didn’t know how to behave, she feared that anything that had gone out of her mouth might have been misleading. She was happy with the invitation he had addressed to her, but at the same time she was aware that it wasn’t enough to heal that crack that had been created between them. The words James had told her the previous day, as soon as she came to the office after Shuichi had gone, came back to her mind. He had told her not to build again castles in the air and to play it safe, in order to avoid collecting again the pieces of that complicated relationship. She could have told him to mind his own business, that now she was an adult woman and therefore free to do what she wanted, but she knew perfectly well that he was right. She also remembered when, a few minutes earlier, he had gone to the office: for a moment, in one of her adolescent fantasies, it had seemed to her to be one of those moments when the boy goes to take the girl for their first appointment. But the reality of the facts was quite different, they were an adult man and an adult woman who pretended that nothing had happened, postponing a speech that had to be tackled sooner or later. They were just hiding a piece of paper under the ashes, a little flame was enough to revive the fire and burn it.
Akai set off the car, leaving the FBI's parking lot. There was a silence in the car that made it all even more embarrassing than it was. She couldn’t raise the word even though she wanted to, she just looked down thinking and rethinking about what she could say that didn’t seem a pathetic attempt to start a conversation.
- Where are we going?- he finally asked, not knowing the exact address yet.
- At the Haido district, at 77- she answered promptly.
However, after those short lines, the silence fell again. Whatever she would have said would have seemed a way of pretending that nothing had happened and avoid talking about the fact that she had told him bad things and that she had indirectly confessed that she still loved him.
Again he was the one who broke the silence.
- How are the preparations for the process going?-
- We are doing our best to bring all the possible evidences to the court, but they never seem enough to me. I fear no one will believe that a famous actress may have committed such crimes- she closed her eyes.
- You’ll see that everything will be all right, you have concrete evidence in your hand- he tried to reassure her.
She wanted to continue talking to him, but she didn’t want to bother him with her personal questions. Yet at that moment it seemed the only argument that didn’t sound like an excuse.
She was saved by the fact that they had arrived to their destination. Shuichi parked the car out of the shop and both went down. As soon as they set foot in the shop they were greeted by the most disparate sounds: meowing, barking, chirps, squeaks. They looked around, noticing a wide choice of animals each in their own spacious cage.
- Welcome, can I help you?- greeted them cordially the shop owner, a tall man in his forty who wore an apron to not get dirty with fur and food.
- Hello, recently a friend of us has seen in this shop some Akita Inu’s puppies. Have you already sold all of them or is there anybody left?- she asked.
- I understand what litter you’re referring to- he smiled at her - There are still four-
- Oh, very good!- she exclaimed enthusiastically - Can we see them?-
- Sure, come with me!-
He escorted them into the shop in the area he had reserved for them. To not separate them abruptly he had built a small fence where they could stay all together. As soon as she saw them she had been captured by an infinite sense of tenderness, by what one can call a love at first glance.
- But they are beautiful!- she let herself escape, without worrying about the ways and the tones, leaning to cuddle them all as soon as they approached her wandering.
With her back turned, she didn’t notice the way Akai was looking at her, smiling calmly.
- Shu come here, who do you like the most? I can’t really choose!- she invited him, without even realizing that she had suddenly put all the tension back.
- I don’t know, speaking of appearance, they all seem more or less alike- he spotted.
One of the puppies gave up on Jodie's cuddles to move to him, sitting in front of him and bending his head to one side. It watched him as if he were studying him, as if it was wondering why that dreary man didn’t cuddle them in contrast to the beautiful woman next to him. Now they could no longer have any doubts.
- I think this is the right puppy for Shiho- she smiled, staring touched at the scene - It’s looking at you a bit strangely that reminds me so much of her when she doesn’t trust you too much- she admitted.
- Maybe you’re right- he confirmed, hinting a smile for his colleague's ironic observation.
- So you want this one?- asked the owner for a confirmation.
- Yes!- she nodded, standing up followed by Shuichi.
The man raised the puppy gently, taking it in his arms. Immediately its little brothers stood up on their back paws trying to climb with little success on the net of the fence, perhaps wishful to be cuddled too or perhaps not yet ready to separate themselves from their little brother. It was a sweet but also a bit sad scene.
- Awww, I want one too! In fact, I want them all!- she bit her lower lip, pronouncing those words with a little voice unappropriated for a woman of her age.
- And where do you plan to put them? If I do not remember wrong the apartment where you live doesn’t have a garden and not even a large space for an animal- Shuichi told her, referring to her New York apartment.
- I know, it would also stay alone all day because I’m often out for work- she sighed.
- Why do not you take an animal that requires less care?- suggested the owner - For example a fish or a canary-
- But they aren’t cute as these puppies!- she objected with an expression that made Akai smile.
Returning to the first part of the shop where they had entered, the owner prepared a cardboard with a warm cloth on the bottom to make the puppy comfortable until he would have been released into its new home; then he put it in.
- Do you also need accessories?- he asked them.
- Since this little dog is not for us, but it's a gift for a birthday girl, I think it's better if she comes to pick the ones she prefers- explained Akai.
- Instead, I'm interested in seeing them, I think I'll give them to her- Jodie intervened.
- Haven’t you already taken a present?- asked him surprised.
- I was thinking of getting her a pretty trendy dress I had seen, but at this point I think it's better if I give her some accessories, so it will all be ready-
In the next fifteen minutes, the man showed her everything that could have helped to take care of the puppy, leaving the rest to the owner's free choice. At the end she opted for a soft circular bed decorated with a bow, a litter box, two simple bowls for water and food, a brush, a simple but elegant leather collar with a customizable medal (as Shiho liked fashion even her dog should have been chic) and a leash.
- Isn’t that a bit too much?- asked Akai.
- No, she deserves it- it was her simple but firm response.
- Do you need more?- asked the owner.
- Could you give me a sack of kibble and some tins to feed him till tomorrow?- asked Akai - Then the girl will come to take the food she prefers together with the rest-
After finally finding everything they were looking for, they paid each one their own check and left the store holding one cardboard each: she the one with the puppy, much lighter, and Shuichi the one with the accessories and the food. They loaded both of them on the rear seats, they didn’t feel like closing the little one in the trunk; then they also got into the car.
- Look, Shu, do not you think it would be nice to make those cartoons a little more cute covering them with colored paper and a bow? In the end they should be presents for a birthday- she pointed to her companion as she clasped her belt.
- At Kudo’s mansion there aren’t either paper or bows- he replied, starting the car.
- We can make a small stop at the minimarket that is nearby- she suggested.
- Good idea, so take advantage of it to take a couple of plastic containers to use to feed and drink our new friend-
Throughout the journey to the minimarket, she turned her head every two minutes to control the little dog, though Shuichi repeated her to not worry and that he wouldn’t overthrow.
When they finally arrived, she stuck to the glass of the car looking inside worried as a mother who didn’t want to leave her baby on the first day of kindergarten.
- I'm worried, do you think it's right to leave it alone here?- turned to him with an air more wicked than the puppy.
- We just have to buy a couple of things, it won’t take more than ten minutes- he reassured her.
She nodded even if it was clear that she wasn’t convinced, entering the shop together with him. As they turned around the aisles in search of what they needed, for a moment she managed not to worry about the little dog and finally realized how, from the time they entered the pet shop, the things between her and Shuichi seemed to be inexplicably back to normal, as if nothing had happened. Even now they were walking side by side like an engaged couple who go shopping together for their new home. She wondered if he had the same feeling or if he was just pretending to behave naturally with her, waiting to get back to acting as perfect strangers as soon as that afternoon of shopping would have come to an end. The only thought saddened her a lot.
- I found the containers- his voice brought her back to reality.
She turned to look at him, finding him with two simple round plastic containers in his hand.
- But where’s the material for the gift boxes?- she looked around, something she hadn’t done until then.
She found everything when he reached the DIY area. She took bows, colored paper and adhesive tape. They were about to go to the check-out when her eyes fell on very nice greeting cards, decorated with elegant floral motifs.
- Do we take two? A gift is always accompanied by a greeting card- she purposed.
- Right- nodded him.
They made the journey to the check-out in the most complete silence, as well as the one from the check-out to the car outside the store. It really seemed that the warm mood of just before had evaporated in a few seconds. Perhaps there was a kind of magic in that shop full of sounds and little feathered or four-legged friends.
She put also the last purchases on the back seat and took advantage of it to take a look at the little one who had lain down but was still awake and attentive and got up shaken as soon as it saw her. There was already some sympathy between them.
- Here we are little one!- she smiled, cuddling it a bit.
- It almost seems that this puppy is for you- remarked Shuichi.
- If it were for me I would go to get one now, but an FBI agent can only afford plush animals!- she curled her lips.
- A hectic life is the price to pay to assure the justice in your country- he came out in an almost-patriotic tone.
She stared at him as if he had said a twaddle worthy of the worst cabaret programs. She didn’t understand how certain things came out of his mouth at times. In response he smiled amused by her expression. It was beautiful when he did, even though he was mocking her. Embarrassed for that thought, she looked away blushing: it was stronger than her. For the umpteenth time, silence fell into the car that seemed like a one-way carriage to hell.
- Listen Jodie... I think we should talk- suddenly came out with it Akai, taking the initiative and starting what she feared would have happened since the very first moment in which she had set foot in that car.
She stiffened like a marble statue clenching her fists, not feeling ready at all to tackle the subject. She didn’t want to get a slap in her face again.
- I’m not mad at you if that's what worries you. I would just like to clarify some things to avoid continuing with this situation- he explained.
- Can we talk about it when we get there?- she asked, almost like a plea more than a question.
- What difference does it make to do it now or later? We'll have to do it anyway- he insisted.
- I prefer to avoid some discussions in the car, it’s not a place that brings me a lot of luck talking about conversations- she replied, making a clear reference at the time of their break.
She had poured out it, without thinking of the consequences. Only when she realized it she leaned her head against the window, covering her eyes with one hand, sure that Shuichi would have tied to his finger that one too. Certainly that wasn’t the attitude she had to assume if she wanted to settle things between them.
- I'm sorry, I didn’t want to be sharp. Really, can we talk about it at home?-
She had said "home," as if they were a couple who lived together and had simply had a quarrel like so many, but the truth was that there was no home (or at least not a house that belonged to them) and above all, there was no relationship. Shuichi didn’t answer and that made her fear that he was really mad at her now. He would have got a point since he was the only one who had tried to put things into place as she continued to make them worse.
When they arrived at Kudo’s mansion, they unload the cartons from the car, being careful to not be seen, Shiho could have been at the window to observe. During this operation they never spoke to each other, all they did was to exchange glances that didn’t promise smiles nor beautiful words.
The house was deserted, Shinichi still had to come back: they were alone with their problems to deal with. Akai took the cardboard with the puppy into the room and she followed him with the other, keeping her head down. Then the sniper pulled out from the minimarket bag the colored paper, the bows, the greeting cards and the adhesive tape, placing them on the table. He took out a tin of food from the cardboard with the accessories and, taking the two newly purchased containers, he went to the kitchen leaving her alone. He returned a few minutes later with the containers full: one with fresh water and the other with the food of the tin. He put them down on the ground and then pulled the puppy out of the carton and placed it in front of it. Without repeating it twice, the little one began to eat under her tender gaze. Shuichi took advantage of it to take the sack of kibble and the other tins, leaving in the carton only what she had bought for Shiho. So she set them up for good, trying to get away from that tension. When she finished she closed the cardboard with a long strip of adhesive tape. Then he picked up the colored paper and began to unroll and spread it in order to wrap the carton. Throughout that time, Shuichi had been out of the way looking at her while smoking a cigarette. Probably he also was very nervous.
- Do you want me to wrap yours too?- she broke the silence this time.
Akai didn’t answer, he approached her and sat down on the armchair not far from where she was sit.
- You can do it later. Now it really seems to me to have a conversation between adults-
The tone of his voice was strangled, anyone would have felt it. It was clear that he wanted to talk at all costs, that he was tired of that whole story. So she set down the paper and the scissors and listened to what he had to say.
- What are you going to do?-he asked her.
- What do you mean?- she replied confused, not understanding what he was referring to.
- After making me understand that you didn’t like my decision six years ago, and I can’t blame you, you said you got tired of hanging around me. So, is it your final decision?-
She couldn’t really understand where he wanted to go and why he was doing those questions when he had a thousand more to do before.
- What do you expect me to do Shu? That I spend the rest of my life going after a man who doesn’t even notice if I paint my hair of pink because he has no interest in me? Maybe if I were seventeen and I were a little girl, but I'm almost thirty years old and I'm realizing I haven’t done anything- she lowered her gaze.
- You wanted to become an FBI agent and you did it, you had a goal and you did it, soon you’ll put your worst enemy behind the bars. This for you is didn’t get anything done?-
- I wasn’t referring to my career but to my love life. There’s not only work Shu- she pointed out.
- Maybe you haven’t met the right person yet. You still have time, twenty-eight years aren’t so many-
- Or maybe I met him but I didn’t realize it why I was too focused on the wrong one- she stared at him - And yet they are almost twenty-nine-
- Then you should try to concentrate on what makes you satisfied instead of what continues to disappoint you- he pointed to her, as if he wanted to make her understand that it was better to let him go.
- You're right, I think it's time to do it-
It was easy saying it in words, but anyone who had looked at her at that moment would have understood from her expression that she wasn’t entirely convinced of what she had just said. That sentence was more to convince herself than others. She couldn’t stand it anymore, she was tired and without any strength.
- I don’t want to renounce to your presence in my life just as a friend or colleague, Shu. Even though this should lead me to not find another man for the rest of my life- she admitted, as big tears streaked her cheeks.
The truth was that she didn’t want to lose him even though she knew he would have been the cause of all her suffering.
- That would mean keeping you in a castle without escape. It wouldn’t be right and I'm not the guy who loves to deprive others of their own freedom- he closed his eyes, perhaps not to show that even him at that moment was feeling sorry to know he was her executioner.
- You're not imposing it to me, I’m the one who wants you to do it- she clarified.
- But I would live with the thought of you being tied to something from which I am the only one who can loosen you. If I didn’t, it would be like keeping you prisoner, right?-
- Then I'm wondering what you're going to do. If you don’t want to save even our friendship, tell me clearly-
She couldn’t stop crying, not at the time that would have been decisive for their future. At the end of that conversation she would know what kind of relationship would have been with him from now on and nothing could have changed it. She feared she would lose him as a friend and this weight was too big to endure.
- I just want to make sure that you won’t waste your life anymore running after a guy who probably doesn’t deserve your dedication- he smiled sincerely.
- If I should do it, it would be my choice. You aren’t required to assume responsibility. In any case, the longer the time passes and the more I realize that I deserve better- she stared at him seriously.
- If so, then it’s good to stay friends-
- Ok- she nodded.
She wiped the tears fast, then resumed wrapping up her pack in an attempt to distract herself. Certainly it wasn’t the happy ending of a fairy tale, it wasn’t like in her dreams when he told her he wanted her to be his woman again; but it was always better to have him as a friend than as a perfect stranger. Sometimes you need to make do with what you have in life. She knew that that conversation which seemed to be over once and for all, actually seemed to have been left halfway for the nth time. It wasn’t enough to say "let’s stay friends" because their relationship would return as it was before that damned evening. Shuichi was aware that she didn’t consider him a simple friend and for this he would behave in a detached way not to hurt her, while she would distance herself to not suffer. It seemed that whatever the decision they would have made, the result would always be to distance from each other. It was time to accept the reality of the facts: something had inevitably changed, that relationship that she had been trying to maintain in some way after the breakup had cracked if not broken.
In silence, Akai got up from the chair and went to retrieve the little dog, who in the meantime had finished eating and had had started to hang around the room sniffing here and there. She remained sat on the floor to carefully wrap both her carton and the puppy's one. They were in the same room, a few meters apart, yet it seemed that they were light years away and that they spoke two different languages, making communication impossible. It was the worst feeling.
As soon as she finished she collected her things quickly and pulled out the cellphone, ready to call James to pick her up. She didn’t want to stay there a minute longer and she really needed that surrogate dad who offered her a shoulder to cry whenever she made a mess. She was looking for the phone number when Akai's hands stopped her, gently gripping her wrist.
- You do not need to disturb James, I'll accompany you-
At first she didn’t know what to answer, it didn’t seem to her the best idea to come back together in a car. In the end she agreed to not go back on her promise to be friends.
- Ok. But how do you do with the little one? We can’t leave him here alone-
He was about to answer her when the sound of the door opening interrupted their conversation, forcing them to turn their heads in that direction. A few minutes later Shinichi appeared with the school uniform and his briefcase in his hand. He was astonished to find them there together, you could tell it from the expression on his face.
- Jodie-sensei, you’re here too- he commented.
- Hello Cool Guy, sorry if we made some confusion in your house!- she greeted him warmly as always.
The young detective looked around and immediately his gaze fell on the decorated cartons and on that little fur ball which was waving at him too. He kept staring at him, looking in his head for a plausible explanation for all this.
- It's my gift for Shiho, I hope it's not a problem to keep it here until tomorrow- asked Akai - Of course I will deal with it-
- No problem- Shinichi smiled, approaching and taking it in his arms - I think Shiho will really appreciate this gift-
- I hope. Could you supervise it for a while, while I accompany Jodie at home? I’ll just be a few minutes-
- Don’t worry, go as well. I'll handle that- he accepted with pleasure.
They left the mansion and as they did before they loaded Jodie's carton on the car being careful to not be seen. During the journey, they didn’t spoke too much, as it was expected.
- Could you tell James that tomorrow in the morning I'll be a little late because I have to go and pick up the cake I booked for Shiho?- he said out of nowhere.
- Haven’t you already told him?-
- I forgot between one thing and another- he admitted.
When they arrived in front of the building where there was her apartment, she got out of the car and picked up her carton from the back seat. Shuichi also got out and came up beside her, placing his hand under the carton.
- Do you want me to help you? It's pretty heavy- he asked.
- Thank you but I don’t need it, as soon as I get in I’ll take the elevator- she hinted a smile of thanksgiving.
- Well, thanks for the help then- he said, ready to leave her.
- You’re welcome, we'll see tomorrow at the party-
She gave him shoulders and she head off towards the entrance of the building. She had almost reached the door when she heard his voice calling her.
- Jodie?-
- Yes?- she turned her head to look at him.
- That day I didn’t want to hurt you at all not I wanted to do what I did. To give up on something that you care for is never easy for anyone. If I didn’t call you, it's not because I didn’t want, but because doing so would only complicate things. I didn’t think it would have hurt you so much, I'm sorry-
She opened her eyes wide to those words, unbelieving for what she had just heard. Those were apologizes? Shuichi Akai, the impassive rock, was humiliating himself apologizing for a thing that had happened six years earlier. If her hands hadn’t been busy holding the carton, she would probably have pinched herself to make sure she was awake and not dreaming. She was distant from him and couldn’t see his eyes well, but from the expression of his face and the tone he had used he seemed sincere and truly repentant to her. For the first time she felt that she had always been wrong, that she had never understood his feelings for real. Concentrated on her pain, she hadn’t seen that Shuichi had suffered for that broke up story as well, for that feeling that he had to fade against the will of both. She didn’t know why, but she felt more serene in knowing it, in knowing that for him she had been important. Perhaps if he had said those words years before, they wouldn’t have come to the point they were now. But, of course, she knew, Shuichi wasn’t an ace talking about timing in the field of feelings.
She wondered if at the end of the day she had sins as well. If it needed very little to make him fall in love with another woman, maybe then she wasn’t perfect either. But at this point it didn’t matter, she could no longer change what it had been. Admitting their own guilt would have helped them to move on but not to go back.
- You do not have to give me any explanation, whatever your motivations are. If she has won you over so much then maybe I missed something. The blame is always half and half, right?- she smiled mentioning his words, though her eyes had become shiny betraying the emotions she was feeling - I accept your apologies, anyway. We'll see you tomorrow at the party-
She greeted him one last time for that night, entering the building without turning back.
……………………..
He remained there, standing still to look at her perfect figure, moving away from him, as in the scenes of those pathetic love movies that women liked so much. He thought of everything she had said and of what was still to be said. He couldn’t bear to see her cry, and still less to know that the cause of her pain was him. In life he had made experiences and learned many things, perhaps even more than a young man of his age should know, yet he had never learned to be more human in the relationships with people. Perhaps that was why he kept losing people he cared for one by one. The more he reflected on the words he had told her in the living room of Kudo’s mansion and the more it seemed to him to have push her away on purpose. He should have told her she had no fault and that she was a perfect girlfriend: the problem was him. He knew that she still loved him and in an attempt to be detached so as not to create false hopes and to delude her, he had ended up wounding her again, reopening that scar in her heart that probably had never recovered. He only realized it now. He had promised her to protect her at the cost of his life and instead he was killing her with his own hands. He, the Silver Bullet, the only one able to eliminate the bad guys, was nothing but one of them. He smiled bitterly at that thought.
As he lighted a cigarette, he wondered if things would ever going to be ok again if that friend, partner, colleague that up to that moment had supported him would still be there for him. He realized how important her presence was only now that he might have missed her. As for his father and Akemi, he felt again that he had lost something he cared for, with the only difference that Jodie was alive. And perhaps the worst side was just this: knowing that she was still there beside him but feeling that she was far away as the soul of a deceased. With the bitter awareness that he had added another victim to his collection, he started the car and went home, wrapped in the darkness of the night that had fallen on the city.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
I would say that this is the longest chapter I’ve ever made so far and in fact is also the one which has marked a decisive turning point (perhaps) in the relationship between Jodie and Shuichi. Many of you would have expected this confrontation to take place during the party, but I preceded you because I had something else in mind from the beginning (say the truth, I have trolled you a little bit like Gosho, eh? XD). I know some of you will think "but you do a Shuichi x Jodie story and then make them agree on being just friends!" and in fact it might sound like this, but there are some part still missing and the happy ending that you all expect (and which I promised you will see) will really only be in final chapters, not before. First I want to prepare the bases for this to happen, I have to raise the characters psychologically. Doing it on two feet would seem hasty and unrealistic. The truth is that although in this story you have seen more Jodie than him, the one who has to push the engine to start it is Shuichi. Since he won’t be in peace with himself, the turn won’t be possible.
But cut the chatter, I’m annoying you! Let me know what you think of this chapter if you want! And do not miss the next one that will be the one with Shiho's party!
Thanks again to all those who dedicate their time to this story!
Kisses
Place. -
+1 .
Link to Italian original text: #entry609650252
Chapter 17: The Party
They were all gathered in the same room as a large family on Christmas Day, even though they were divided into groups engaged in different activities. On the one hand, Shinichi and Ran, who at that moment seemed like loving parents, tried to help the Detective Boys with a riddle devised by the Doctor to keep them busy, so they didn’t get bored too much since there were just adult people. With them there was also Masumi, who like Shinichi was constantly attracted to the scent of puzzles. On the other hand, sitting on the couch, she and Sonoko were browsing a fashion magazine commenting on the latest trends. There were only two people missing.
She arranged the neckline of the beautiful colored kimono that Doctor Agasa had given to her. In Japan it was tradition that the birthday girl would wear one. On the table where the others were solving the riddle there were a series of board games brought for the most part by Shinichi and Sonoko, but they still haven’t tried them while waiting for the last two invited guests to join them.
- Ah, I get it!- echoed the enthusiastic voice of the little Ayumi.
She and Sonoko interrupted the reading and turned to look, finding all them smiling: certainly they managed to solve the riddle.
- Since we have solved the mystery, can we have the cake as prize?- asked immediately Genta, who couldn’t wait for that moment to come since he had set foot in the house.
- Come on, try to be patient Genta, later we'll eat it all together- answered the Doctor.
She checked the time on the clock hung on the wall, hoping that Akai hadn’t forgotten it. In the end he was the one who had to bring the cake. She didn’t even have time to finish to think it that the doorbell rang, sign that at least one of them had arrived. She went to open the door as it should have been, since it was her party, finding them both in front of her, side by side.
- Welcome- she greeted them with a smile.
- Happy Birthday!- said Jodie excited, returning the smile with an even more radiant one, holding a big package in her arms.
- Best Wishes- was Akai's simplest answer, who showed her the box with the cake.
- Thank you so much, please come in- she let them in.
As soon as they set foot in the house, everyone turned to greet them, some astonished to see two adult FBI agents at a teenager party. The most obvious reaction was that of Masumi, who after shouting "Shu-nii!" ran at her brother and embraced him. This time, instead of reproaching her, Akai smiled at her ruffling her hair, leaving astonished people who knew him well. But she was focused on another fact that had affected her more than the affectionate and fraternal moment of that seemingly emotionless man, namely that he and Jodie had come together. So she approached her blonde friend with a pretext.
- Thanks for this gift, you didn’t have to do that for me. It’s huge!-
- You deserve it!- she winked, putting the package together with the others.
- Rather… how is it that you and Akai-san coming together? It seemed to me that there were tensions between you until a few days ago- she came to the point.
- Well, it’s true, but yesterday we had a chance to speak at last and let’s say that we have come to a sort of armistice- she explained, though her expression while she was telling the story had changed as fast as a blast.
- Do you want to talk about it?-
- In due time, I'll do it- she said - Today we just have to think about having fun because it’s your birthday!- she took her by the shoulders and shook her slightly, transmitting her all of her liveliness.
Smiling, she laid her jacket, under her unconvinced gaze. By now she had become an open book, she understood immediately when she was really carefree and when behind the smiles there was a silent cry. However she was right, it was not the case to pull out some arguments in that circumstance.
Her attention shifted again to Masumi, who in the meantime had abandoned the others to look desperately for the attention of the older brother, who was putting the cake in the fridge in the company of Doctor and Genta, who has dashed to see in an attempt to get them to eat it right away. She noticed that the scientist and the agent were speaking intensely with each other and it seemed strange to her such a degree of confidence, too much considered that for Akai the Doctor was only the man who provided him with the instruments for his disguise. She tried to read the labial, uselessly. Finally she followed them with the eyes as they walked away from the living room to move to another room. She was going to follow them when Masumi preceded her, but she had been immediately stopped by her brother who seriously told her something she couldn’t understand, masked by the confusion the children were making. she thought that Akai hadn’t learned the lesson and that she would have seen again Masumi's disappointed and sad look, just like that afternoon at Shinichi's home; instead, with great surprise, she saw her smiling and nodding to him, and then getting back to her as if it were nothing. Okay, she'd always thought they were a strange family, but now she had the absolute certainty.
- Who knows where those two are going- she let it slip.
- Maybe they just want to talk about men things that we don’t care about, so let's go party!- promptly answered Jodie, coming behind her as a ghost.
She pushed her without forcing her close to the table together with everyone else, then she greeted everyone with the same energy of each time.
- Hello guys!-she smiled radiant.
- Jodie-sensei, you’re here too!- exclaimed Ayumi.
- But don’t you get bored at a teenager party with kids furthermore?- Sonoko asked, raising an eyebrow.
- Of course not!- she answered.
The only one who hadn’t said anything was Masumi, who looked at Jodie as if she was trying to study her in every particular detail. On the other hand, she was the one that knew her less than all of them. Even Jodie had to be aware of it, as she looked at her, surely noticing her resemblance to that man she loved so much.
- You’re Shu’s sister, right?- she asked to break the ice.
- Exactly. Instead, you work with my brother at the FBI. Do you know him well?-
It was a good question, a question she wasn’t sure that Jodie had a clear answer. She had discovered herself some sides of Akai she had never seen before, so all her certainty about his person had collapsed. Even for Jodie it had to be the same.
- Well ... let's say yes, we work together for many years now- she managed to get by, though that was the most obvious answer.
- Don’t you also think that Sera-chan's brother is beautiful? Tell the truth, is there something among you? You've come together!- Sonoko intervened, out of place as usual.
An even harder question than the previous one, which didn’t receive a quick response. Jodie blushed visibly, not knowing what to say. She couldn’t tell the truth, in any case not in front of Shuichi's sister.
- But Sonoko, what do you ask ?! Don’t you see that you're making Jodie-sensei feel very uncomfortable?- approached in her help Ran, who was much more sensible than her friend.
- Yes and then Jodie-sensei is in a relationship with agent Camel!- Mitsuhiko intervened, obviously remembering that colossal lie she had invented to save Camel from the murder charge in that hotel.
- What?! Really?!- Ran and Sonoko exclaimed in unison.
- No, wait, there is a misunderstanding!- shook her hands the blond, caught off guard.
- Do you mean that you are no longer with agent Camel?- asked Ayumi.
- Don’t tell me he betrayed you!- immediately jumped to conclusion Sonoko.
- No no, actually I’ve never been in a relationship with Camel!- she finally confessed, smiling embarrassed.
- So you told a lie?- turned his nose Genta.
- I needed a way to get him out of trouble!-
- That’s not cool!- reprimanded her Mitsuhiko.
In response, the ex-teacher lowered her gaze, mortified in hearing the preaching from elementary school children.
- So, do you like my brother?- Masumi asked again, curious to know if her beloved brother had impressed her.
- Eh?! Well… - blushed Jodie, unable to articulate a meaningful phrase.
- But look how she became red!- Sonoko made fun of her, making a sly smile.
- If you want I can ask if he likes you too!- Masumi offered herself, as if it was the least embarrassing and most natural thing in the world.
- No! It’s not necessary!- the blonde hurried to answer - We’re just friends and colleagues, nothing more!-
- Now stop to torment Jodie, why don’t we all play together with some of these games?- she intervened, trying to get her out of that embarrassing situation.
The proposal was welcomed and so they looked at each game, trying to choose one that could be suitable even for the younger ones. The final choice, worthless to say, fell on the Cluedo which had brought Shinichi, who had received it from his parents directly from America. They placed the game board on the table and sat in circle around it, while Sonoko read the rules at all and Ran and Shinichi placed the pawns. As they were listening, Dr. Agasa and Akai reappeared as they had disappeared. She watched them for a while, trying to figure out from the expression on their faces if something was wrong, but she didm’t seem to notice anything strange. They both looked strangely serene and smiling. Yet she felt that they were hiding something.
- Where have you been?- she asked, abruptly interrupting Sonoko's reading.
- Nowhere, the Doctor wanted to show me one of his new inventions and know what I think of it- Akai said calmly.
That response didn’t convince her at all, because when the Doctor was working on something new, she always had to help him, and in recent times apart from fixing things he hasn’t done anything. However, she didn’t want to ask any other questions in front of others.
- Do you want to play with us, Shu-nii?- asked Masumi smiling.
- Come on, an adult man will not want to play with little boys!- Sonoko commented, more to make herself great in his eyes than to avoid him sitting at the table with them.
- Also Jodie-sensei is an adult, but she has agreed to play with us!- pointed out Genta.
- I join you gladly, it will be fun to play against an excellent detective- gladly accepted Shuichi, surprising everyone and staring at the person concerned, Shinichi.
The young heir of Holmes returned the smile, a thing that the others didn’t do since that collective play would certainly have become a confrontation between titans of the investigation.
- But how do we play?- Ayumi intervened, staring at the board - The game is for up to six people and we're in ten-
- Yes, you’re right- agreed Mitsuhiko.
- Why don’t we play in pairs?- suggested Jodie.
- That’s a great idea!- approved Ran.
- It’s ok for me, as long as Kudo and Akai-san don’t pair, otherwise they’ll win even before we start- she said, crossing her arms to her chest.
- Right then they would act like the best pupils in the class!- Jodie nodded, shrugging her nose.
There were several complaints about who should or shouldn’t stay with before coming to pairs that could be good to everyone. Jodie and Akai couldn’t be together because they were both FBI agents, Akai and Shinichi because they were two skilled detectives, same for Akai and Masumi and Masumi and Shinichi. At the end they all agreed on the following couples: Shiho and Ayumi, Shinichi and Ran, Sonoko and Masumi, Akai and Genta, Jodie and Mitsuhiko. They played for a good hour, laughing, joking and eating appetizers. They seemed a big family where the age difference didn’t matter, because there was affection from everyone. Even though her biological family couldn’t be there to celebrate with her, she still felt happy and could say with certainty that this was the nicest birthday she had ever had occasion to celebrate.
In the end it won, as expected, Shinichi, though Akai had come to the same solution but had been preceded. They all snorted, though they still had fun.
- It’s no fun playing with you!- she complained with her friend, making him smile.
- Let's do another game!- suggested Ayumi, who was very excited about that new game.
- Why don’t you come and eat the cake and unwrap the gifts?- suggested Agasa.
- Yes!!!- they exclaimed in chorus, running away like lightning.
- I'm going to cut it then- Akai stood up, heading toward the fridge.
- I’ll help you- offered Jodie, chasing him.
They moved all around the counter that served as a kitchenette, where not far away there was also the fridge. Shuichi took the box with the cake, opened it and began to divide it into slices of the same size, while Jodie put them in dessert saucers. She watched them carefully as they exchanged some stealthy look and it seemed to her to see less embarrassment among them than she had ever noticed until then, though they were far from the looseness they had before that whole story. It was clear that things hadn’t properly returned to normal, but at least there was no tension. Also the other guys looked at them in an attempt to see if there was anything among them, except the children who were too young to be interested in such things and above all too busy looking at the cake.
- It seems to me that Jodie-sensei really likes Sera-chan's brother!- whispered Sonoko.
- Again with this story, Sonoko?- Ran reproached her.
- What if it is? It’s their business, they are two adults and they’ll figure it out- concluded Shinichi.
After gossip, they came closer to the table and took a saucer each, beginning to savor their slice of pie, not before singing all in chorus to her the typical birthday song. The cake was delightful as she remembered it and also the others seemed to like it, complimenting her choice. The happiest of all was certainly the Doctor, who at last could, after so long, enjoy a cake and put an end to that strict dietary regime to which she constantly subjected him.
When they finished eating the cake, it was time to unwrap the gifts. Though she had told everyone she didn’t want anything, each of them had brought her something. She started with Sonoko, who had given her a beautiful brand-new fashion dress (something expected from a wealthy heiress), then went to Ran, who instead opted for a beautiful necklace with a pendant shaped like a feather, symbolizing freedom. A sensitive gift from a person who was even too much sensitive. She thanked both of them for those gift which were so good. Shinichi's turn came, he had only brought an envelope. At first she thought he had took her at word about the story of not giving her gifts and that he had only written her a greeting card, but then she found inside the envelope some tickets for the best seats in the next Big Osaka game, which puzzled those who didn’t know her.
- But how, you are from Tokyo and you’re a fan of Big Osaka?- asked Sonoko.
- Yes, but just because she has a crush for Ryusuke Higo- confessed Shinichi before she could answer.
Good friend, really. She had to leave him in the shoes of a brat, that was what he deserved. She pouted, scowling at him and blushing for the embarrassment.
- Who is this Ryusuke Higo?- asked Jodie curious.
- A Big Osaka team’s football player- explained Shinichi.
- Oh, but you know that those are not serious men! They change girlfriend every week! I prefer basketball players, tall and with wide shoulders- shook a hand the FBI agent.
Perfect, now even her friend supported that two-bit detective! She glanced at her as well, while all the others laughed cheerfully for her words.
- She hasn’t said that she wants to marry him, it’s just an idolatry infatuation. Much like the one you have for our young detective- Akai intervened in her defense, leaving her surprised in taking her parts mocking his colleague.
After various pouts and embarrassment, it was the turn of unwrapping Masumi's gift: a chemistry book and a frame with a photo they made all together during one of their exits. She particularly appreciated the latter, taking it as a confirmation that beyond her physical appearance Masumi was much more sensitive than her older brother. She thanked even her with a smile, making her happy.
It remained only Jodie's gift to unwrap, the biggest one of all, but before she could take it Akai stopped her.
- Could you wait a moment before opening Jodie's gift? There is another one before- He said, with that enigmatic smile.
For a moment she didn’t know what to answer or to expect, it seemed almost unthinkable to her that that man had given her a present. She looked at Jodie as if to ask for confirmation; her friend smiled and nodded, making her understand that she knew and that she had nothing to worry about. Akai walked away in the same direction he had taken a few hours before with the Doctor, disappearing to another side of the house and leaving everyone with the curiosity to know, in a general voicing. She reflected on something that had always been in front of her eyes, but to which she had given little importance: only then she realized that while everyone was intent on playing, Agasa had often gone that way, coming back shortly afterwards. She didn’t know what it was exactly, but at least she had the confirmation that the invention was just an excuse.
The pensive FBI agent returned a few minutes later holding a package of the same size as Jodie’s. They probably bought their gifts in the same place, maybe together. A good news. He put the carton in front of her and wished her a happy birthday, smiling enigmatically. She was a little scared to open it, seeing the expression on his face. She looked better at the package and found out that it had already been cut and opened at the top, but all was masked by the fact that it has been covered with some colored paper. She frowned, finding it strange and in poor taste: no one would have wanted to receive a gift which had already been opened for their birthday. Determined to find out what it was holding, she opened both the flaps looking inside. Immediately a soft head covered with hair came out, accompanied by a pair of little paws hanging on the edge of the cardboard and a tail that had started to move fast as soon as she had looked at it. It, a beautiful puppy of a few months. She opened her eyes wide and opened her mouth, unable to say anything. She didn’t even breathe so she was enraptured and surprised. She would have expected anything less than to receive what she longed for so long, and more to the person she less liked among all the presents.
- So cute! It's a beautiful gift!- Ayumi exclaimed, approaching to see it better.
They all smiled tenderly and tried to look closely at the little hairball that had plenty of joy to give to anyone.
She looked up and crossed her gaze with Akai's, and for the first time there weren’t reflexed fear or anger, only gratitude, happiness and amazement.
- Thank you!- she said simply, but with sincerity and a sweet smile on her lips.
She did not notice, caught up in the moment, but not far from them Jodie looked at the scene and felt perhaps more happiness than she was feeling to.
Finally she took her new four-legged friend, filling it with cuddles. The kids, the most curious and excited among all, approached her, asking her to caress it. She allow them, remembering when she was a little girl with them and she loved to pet the animals. It seemed to her to have come back a few months earlier. Even Shinichi, Ran, Masumi and Sonoko came close, curious.
She turned to thank Doctor Agasa too, since she knew that if Akai had given her that gift it was just because the scientist had given his consent to keep an animal in the house. It was then that the latter brought them to attention.
- I know you are all taken with this little boy, but there is still a gift to open. It wouldn’t be nice to ignore the kindness of Jodie-sensei-
- Don’t worry Doctor, she will have time to open it later!- replied the blonde shaking her hand.
- No, the Doctor is right. We can continue to cuddle it afterwards- she intervened, not wanting to seem rude to her friend.
She asked Ayumi to keep the puppy as she opened the last gift and she accepted with joy. When she saw that inside of Jodie's package there were accessories for dogs she had the confirmation that she and Akai were in agreement and she has been the one to tell Akai about her desire to have a puppy. She also understood why she had done it she was grateful to her for the umpteenth time. Instead of trying to fix her relationship with him, she was worried about her. She smiled at her and thanked her; Jodie answered back.
- I thought you needed at least essential things, you can go to choose the rest by yourself!- she winked at her.
- Everything is perfect!-
She immediately put the collar on the puppy, who didn’t back down but instead seemed happy to wear that new accessory.
- How about going out in the garden to play a bit with him?- she suggested, especially to the younger ones.
- Yes!!!- they accepted with joy, running to the exit.
Within a few seconds the room become empty and remained only Doctor Agasa, Jodie and Shuichi, who now thought they had lost their age to play together with little boys.
………………………
She smiled as she watched her young friend go away happy with the gift she had wanted so much in her arms. She thought to herself that in the end it was even thanks to her, just as thanks to her she had finally got a little more closer (maybe) to Shuichi. Her sacrifices were worth something.
- Well, I would say it's all gone for the best, right?- she said, turning to the other two.
- Let’s hope for the best, I’m a little worried- admitted the Doctor, taking off his glasses and wiping the lenses with a tissue.
- You don’t have to, as you see Shiho is already taking care of the little one. She is a responsible girl- Akai reassured him as he put the leftovers of the cake in the fridge.
She helped him, picking up all the dishes and cutlery and then putting them into the dishwasher. She hadn’t talked to him again since last night, she had barely seen him at work. Even though she didn’t feel resentment or sorrow towards him, she felt strangely serene despite everything. Perhaps they really needed a clarification, pretending things went well had been a mistake right from the start. She hoped that he would think so too.
- Don’t you go out, too? I’ll tidy up- the scientist interrupted them.
- Let the kids enjoy themselves a while, we're a bit old! And then you have been so kind to make the house available for the party, it doesn’t seem right to me to let you clean it all by yourself!- she smiled.
- That’s fine, thank you Jodie-sensei. Then I go and check that they don’t destroy the garden!- he took leave, leaving them alone.
Finally, they would have had the opportunity to speak again and establish whether it was really possible to fix the relationship between them, with no old grudges or no words spoken.
- Are you happy?- she suddenly asked him.
- Eh? What are you referring to?- he replied, caught off guard.
- Well, it seems to me that Shiho appreciated your gift more than anybody else. I saw how she smiled at you and it didn’t seem to me she has ever done it before. I think you have earned several points- she explained.
- I hope so, but I think the road is still long. As soon as I’ll do something that she won’t like, she’ll hate me again- he smiled, aware that it was probably not so easy to conquer her if he hadn’t succeeded after all that time.
- So don’t misbehave!- she replied.
- It’s hard, since what makes her more susceptible is the relationship I have with you-
She remained silent, not knowing what to say. He was right, if she hadn’t told her what she felt for him, perhaps Shiho would feel less involved and wouldn’t try to take her parts going every time against him. But she didn’t do it with malice, she certainly didn’t want to be the savior and to make him look like the devil. He should have understood that too, since there was no reproach or annoyance in his tone, but everything was a mere statement.
- I’m sorry if she take it out on you because of me, I told her more than once she doesn’t have to take it out for things that concern me but she doesn’t listen to me- she finally said, starting the dishwasher.
- It's not your fault, you've managed to be well regarded than I did. But in the end it's understandable, whoever would prefer your company to mine- he admitted.
- This is not true. Ok, you’re not really the life of the party and we have confirmed this, but… when you’re not in one of your bad days it’s pleasant to spend time with you- she bit her lip in uttering the last words, fearful of having said something untoward.
- You have strange tastes- was his ironic response - Anyway thank you for having advised me to get her a puppy, I owe you one-
- You don’t owe me nothing, I had made a mess and I wanted to fix it. We're even now-
- Actually I made a bigger mess, I have a lot to make up for-
She understood immediately that he was referring to having left her on the spot and to everything they have said to each other. She felt him sincerely repentant, she could read the guilt in his eyes. She was wrong to think that he had never cared about her and what she felt, she understood it only now.
- There is nothing I must forgive you. Everything is ok, really- she smiled sincerely, going to bring the rest of the leftovers into the fridge.
…………………
There was nothing he has to be forgiven for, she told him. Yet he knew, he knew that there were things that she had never truly forgiven him. He wondered if one day he could fix his mistakes, to see again Jodie smiling blithely at him as Shiho did just before. He thought of the latter, about how he had made her happy and after a long time he felt a bit happy too. It was what he'd always wanted since he had made that promise to Akemi. He wondered if he really was able to deliver on that promise at his best, if he had done all he could to take care of her.
He was distracted by his thoughts when he heard the voices of the guys and children who had come back. Shiho left the puppy free, who immediately began to hang around and sniff to know its new home. Jodie, however, who hadn’t yet had the opportunity to pet him, took it back in her arms and began to cuddle it and make it a lot of compliments.
- You seem to like this gift more than the recipient- he approached her smiling.
- Only a fool wouldn’t like it, look what a little face!- she replied, approaching the little dog a few inches from his face.
The puppy looked at him in the same curious way he had done at the shop for the first time, wagging its tail. And just like then, he stared at him without moving a finger.
- Come on, pet it! Don’t you see how he looks at you?- Jodie exhorted him.
- Outside we have taken photos all together with the puppy, you’re the only two left- interrupted them Shiho, who probably had taken the opportunity given by the atmosphere that had been created.
He smiled thinking about how she could be almost subtle at times. She tried in all possible ways to approach him and Jodie, to push him to court his colleague. More than annoying him, he had to admit that this thing amused him.
- Well, then come here and let’s make one all together- suggested Jodie.
- Do you mind if I first take one with you two?- she asked, making him smile and embarrassing her friend.
He noticed that his detective friend was shaking his head, while his sister and Sonoko were laughing up their sleeve. Obviously, he wasn’t the only person to find the situation so funny.
Without saying anything, he approached Jodie more, as if to give a tacit consent to take that photo. The blonde, caught off guard, turned to look at him with those blue eyes full of that love that he, foolishly, was obstinate to not want to return back.
- Jodie... to take the picture you have to look at me, not at him- called her Shiho.
The colleague blushed visibly, then tried to pretend indifference by smiling and bending her head to one side, clutching the puppy. Finally Shiho took that much-desired photo.
- I also want a picture with Sera-chan's brother!- asked Sonoko, who obviously had a soft spot for him.
- But… Sonoko!- Ran scolded her, crossing her arms to her chest.
- I will never had another occasion again to take a photo with a real FBI agent!- she defended herself, even if the excuse didn’t convince anyone.
- Even Jodie-sensei is an FBI agent, so you can take the photo with her- emphasized the brunette.
- There is no problem if she wants to take a picture- he intervened, amused.
- Thank you!- said excited the young heiress, standing beside him.
After that, even Masumi asked to take a photo with him, so she would show it to their mother.
- Why don’t you take one with the best pupils of the class?- Jodie began, referring to him and Shinichi.
They take also that one and many others to follow, including one all together with Doctor Agasa. They stopped only when the puppy, visibly tired, fell asleep in Jodie's arms and Shiho laid him in the dog basket that the blonde had just given her.
They then split into three different groups, each of whom devoted themselves to an activity: Shiho, Sonoko and Jodie looked at clothes on a catalog, as the birthday girl wanted to know Jodie's opinion about some dresses; Ran kept busy the kids playing with them at a board game, while he, Masumi and Shinichi had set apart to talk to Doctor Agasa.
- Shu-nii, do you like Jodie? She’s a beauty and she’s also funny- his sister suddenly came out.
- And you are very curious- he simply answered.
- She likes you very much, everyone has seen it!- she insisted, as if she was in on with Shiho.
- Is it not time to stop it?- Shinichi interrupted her, almost annoyed - You’ve spend all the afternoon instigating them, even if there were anything it would be their business. If someone of our knowledge would stop playing Cupid...- he gave a quick glance at Shiho, curling his lips.
- Don’t worry, she doesn’t do it with bad intentions- he defended her.
- I know, but don’t you find it annoying?-
- It would be annoying if she wanted to mend me a disagreeable woman both in looks and in character, but Jodie is a beauty and she’s also funny- he repeated his sister's words, looking at her as he did it.
- So you like her!- she smiled excitedly, taking it as a confirmation.
Again he didn’t reply, he only turned his back to not let her see the smile painted on his lips. Perhaps those young detectives were better than him.
An hour after the party had come to an end, everyone slowly returned home after thanking and wishing again a happy birthday to Shiho. Only he and Jodie remained, since they had finished to tidy up the last things they had overlook before.
- Well, then we go too- said Jodie, taking off her jacket from the coat rack at the entrance.
- Thank you for coming- Shiho smiled, especially to him, just as she did as soon as she had discarded his gift.
He didn’t say anything, he just smiled back despite having wanted to be able to say so many things. They left the Doctor's house walking side by side, heading to the car. It was then that Jodie repeated the same question she asked him shortly before.
- You’re happy, aren’t you?-
Of course she must have noticed Shiho's smile, and above all she must have read inside him as she only knew, understanding what were the words he couldn’t say.
- I'm not sure how it feels to be happy, but I can say with certainty that I feel good than I’ve felt in a long time- he admitted.
Sometimes he felt that he could confess everything to that woman, because she would never use his weaknesses to hurt him. She wanted to protect that heart that others had broken.
- Well, it's a sign that things are going in the right direction, right?- she smiled.
- Maybe you're right-
…………………..
She smiled, putting that greeting card in its envelope and put it with the others on the bedside table in the row of those already read. Next to her, the Doctor was already asleep, just like the puppy whose dog basket had been placed next to her, so she could help it if it needed to go out at night. She had decided to read the greeting cards everyone has gave her with the gifts, because she hadn’t had time to read during the party (or rather, she had chose not to do so because she preferred to read all of those personal dedications).
She took one of the last two cards that had left and recognized it at once: it was Akai's one. She was astonished that a man of very few words like him had even managed to write a greeting card, probably he had just fill the space with a "Happy Birthday". Instead, with great surprise, she found few words written in English but with an intense meaning.
“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again”
- Francis Scott Fitzgerald-
Only someone who could understand what her situation had been so far could have been able to dedicate such words. She had to admit that reevaluating her thinking on Akai hadn’t been a bad idea, perhaps he was the man Jodie had always described. She smiled, accepting the fact that that man really loved her, not just because her sister asked him.
Without thinking twice, she picked up the cell phone and searched for Akai's number in the phone book, sending him a short response message. She simply wrote "You too", attaching the picture taken a few hours before with him, Jodie and the puppy. She was certain he would understand.
……………………
He had just laid down, ready to read a few pages of a book before sleeping, when the cellphone rang on the bedside table. By that time the only people who could contact him were his FBI colleagues, so he hoped nothing had happened. With his great surprise, however, he found a message from Shiho. He smiled, guessing she wanted to thank him again, but he realized that it wasn’t so when he saw that the title of the mail was "Fitzgerald". Certainly she was referring to what he had written in the greeting card, even though he couldn’t guess what she wanted. Perhaps she didn’t like it and wanted to reproach him for not having written a regular greeting card. Entertained by the idea, he opened the message and found only two words: "You too", accompanied by the photo he had done with Jodie at the party. There was no need to ask for further explanations, everything was clear and crystal clear. He had given her that advice, but in fact he had to be the first to succeed in applying it. More than writing it to her it was as if he had directed it to himself.
He watched for a moment that picture, focusing on how they both smiled and for a moment it seemed to him that that photo had been taken six years ago. He had to have one like that in his apartment in New York, inside a box he'd locked up in a drawer together with everything that had to do with his past and he didn’t want to bring back. He had to put it there when he had infiltrated, to try to forget what could no longer be, but in the end he had forgotten it for real. He promised to find it as soon as he came back. The meanders of a drawer weren’t the right place for it.
Smiling, he also saved that new picture, the portrait of a future that had just begun.
AUTHOR’S CORNER
Sorry for the late, I know a lot of time passed since I updated this fiction and probably other time will pass until I’ll update it again because I want to finish it in Italian first, then dedicate all my time and energy to the translation.
This chapter came longer than I expected and I also had to alternate often the point of view, as there were three people at the same time who were having thoughts on a single situation. I hope I haven’t created too much confusion and you can understand who thinks and says what! Honestly, I’m not satisfied with this chapter, I’m sorry if I disappointed you too.
If you have questions about something, just ask me as always!
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